Crapstorm 2013

2012 knocked on my door about two weeks ago.  Nearly every catastrophe that happened last year is happening again.  Losing place to live?  Check.  Huge four-digit car repair bill? Check.  Bad, costly health news?  Check.

Where to begin.

I've always been aware that our living situation was temporary.  I've never been more grateful for what we've got.  Unfortunately, the ride is over.  About two weeks ago, we got word that we would need to be out by the end of August.  Aaron and I have been trying to scrape together every penny to make a successful down payment on a decent place, and we would have had it too if his car hadn't bitten the big one.

Only a day after getting that news, we got stranded in the airport terminal trying to pick up a friend because his car randomly wouldn't start.  A tow truck, a lost terminal card and $1400 later and it's fixed.  There was obviously a lot more than just the starter wrong - some of it we knew about and just had fixed anyway.  Nonetheless, there goes the down payment on a place to live.

Not that that matters much.  The top place on our list decided they no longer take huskies, after telling me on a phone call and  in person the first time I saw the place that they did.  Turns out, next-to-nill townhouses with adequate space in the KC area take huskies.  That's a huge problem since my best friend owns one.  We've started looking at renting houses, but the monthly rent is just too high.  Townhouses here tend to stay just under 1k, but houses almost immediately jump to $1200.  Seems freaking impossible.

On top of the costs, my yearly auto insurance bill came in, so that's another four-digit chunk out of my account.  And I finally went to see a dentist.  That's getting pretty costly too, since apparently I neglected the hell out of my teeth and our dental insurance doesn't cover as much as I wish it did.  Every visit is around $150 for what I need.  Ouch.  That and I do actually have my wisdom teeth.  They're completely impacted.  Insurance only pays 50% of that costly surgery.  That's completely and totally out.  Not happening.  Can't afford it.

A few nights ago, a spring in our mattress poked through.  This isn't the first time it's happened.  We've already flipped our mattress for an impossible spring pop and it's full of duct tape patches.  Aaron patched it last night, but this morning, it ripped through my PJ pants and stabbed my leg.  It wasn't bad enough for an ER, but there was quite a bit of blood involved.  That also means we need to officially buy a new mattress.

With what money?

So I started applying for a second job pretty much anywhere a week or so ago.  I don't know what else to do.  I had a pretty successful few interviews the past week, but of course none of them are anywhere near my field.  Everything in my instincts tells me to just buck it up.  That 80 hour work weeks won't be that tough and that it's really the only option at this point.

But is it really worth it to lose everything?  Right when I was beginning to love my life and get involved with things that make me happy, I suddenly have to cut it all off.  The volunteering, the Circle, the exercise.  When will I have time for it?

If I get a call back for any of these jobs, I have a big decision to make: to turn it down and continue with the goals I've set for myself this year, or to take the job and risk losing everything due to stress and lack of time.

This also includes being unable to complete my needed dental work since they're only open Monday-Thursday 10-5 and I'll have to work then.  It means not going to see an endo because I won't be able to take a few hours off.  It means sacrificing not only my spiritual and emotional happiness but my health as well.  How worth it is that?

At the same time, all Aaron and I have ever done is splashed around in the water, bobbing up just enough to catch a breath before being raked under again.  It'd be nice to get on a raft during this flood.  A second job could provide that.  But at what cost?

I will do a check-in as soon as I can figure out how to manage this explosion.

Some updates and looking ahead!

Let's start with the first major success: I weighed myself this morning and am 3.6 pounds down!  Look at that beautiful number.  I'm nearing the weight I was when I got my driver's license at 17.  Exciting!

Also, here's the completed linen closet in all its glory.  Sorry for the fuzzy picture - my camera on my phone's been acting up.  But you at least get the gist - much more organized!  Ignore some of the lopsidedness of some of the upper shelves.  I'm short and didn't have a chair or footstool to use.

Which reminds me that I still need to purchase my digital camera for being 160 lbs.  And my Wreck This Journal box set.  Because I took June off, I've been trying to build some funds before I make any major purchases.

I have volunteer orientation with the Crossroads Hospice this upcoming Saturday.  The Crossroads Hospice is bringing Artie around to visit residents.  I'm very excited, if not a little nervous, about it.  Artie is fantastic with other people - that's why I signed him up for the opportunity.  He absolutely loves older people and just generally wants to make everyone feel better. That being said, they also want to see his temperament with other dogs.  This is where it gets a little tricky.  Artie is, nine times out of ten, fantastic with other animals. He's friendly, playful, happy and spunky.  But then there's just that one dog that, for whatever reason, he doesn't like.  He's never, ever bit another dog and, because he's small, it's easy to intervene by just picking him up.  Treats particularly help him stay focused.  I just would really hate for his temperament with one dog to ruin his chances at volunteering with people.  I suppose I wasn't aware there'd be so many other animals at the Gladstone location.  If there's just a few, he'll be just fine, but if there's a large group, he might get overwhelmed.  What I signed him up for was the people portion, which Artie will love and be a great help in!  It's just a matter of if he can make it past orientation.  On the bright side, if he does pass, it's once a month, which shouldn't interfere with my other volunteering.

I also have volunteer orientation with the KC Pet Project this upcoming Monday.  It's more of what I've been doing with ESFOA and TARA.  I also begin my Cat Caregiver position with TARA tomorrow.  Excited about that as well.

Looking at how fast I'm speeding through some of my goals got me thinking about 2014 today.  Even it were December right now, I'd feel so much more accomplished this year than I have previously, so I'm definitely going to continue The Progressive Planner.  But what is it that I want to do with 2014?  Here's some ideas that have at least made a pit stop in my jumbled head:

1. Be able to speak basic Spanish again (knowledge).
2. Buy our first tent so we can camp more often (relationship/financial).
3. Learn how to swim (health).
4. Attend one convention related to my career (career).
5. Maintain savings and add an additional 20% (financial).
6. Begin looking into investing money and retirement options as a freelancing illustrator (financial/career).
7. Get my own health insurance (health/financial).
8. Complete a Wreck This Journal (personal).

So what about you?  How are you doing on your goals now that we're more than half-way through the year?  Have you given any thought to 2014?

June - The Month I Almost Didn't.

I could say something fancy about June being the halfway point, the steep slope at the top of the mountain that I want 2013 to be, but that's really not what caused me to fall behind this month.  And, regardless of what the number at the top of my check-in below says, I really did fall behind.

I think there's an inevitable adjustment period for any major life change.  Even if it's a smooth transition, underlying stress can really bite at you.  That's what I've been experiencing for June.

My biggest problem was work.  I never intended to take June off.  May was my resting month.  June just kind of got tagged on to it.  My biggest problem?  I still feel like Charli and Eric are visiting.  I can't tell you how many times I skipped work to watch a movie or talk to my best friend in the dining room.  Sometimes, just sitting bored here at the desk will get me working, but I'm not even around my computer much anymore.  And it's not for lack of Charli telling me to work.  I just feel like it's rude to hide back here and not talk to anyone.  And that's my problem.

I also didn't get much cleaning done.  Heck, I fell behind on my chores.  Given that I previously did all of the chores on the chart, only having to do a few should free up my time.  Instead, I can't even attack them.  Also my problem.  

In the process, my desk, which was going fairly unused, is also getting cluttered with my things.  It's an easy place to put everything.  We also moved my desk to make room for Eric's desk.  In the process, everything that was on my desk is on the floor.  Still is.  I finally started attacking it today, but it's still a giant mess.

That being said, I have had some successes this month.

The first success is that I not only lost 5 pounds, but went on to lose and additional 1.2.  Look at that bad ass number up there.  Not only am I way overdue for my digital camera, but I'm damn close to my Wreck This Journal box set!  I've also jarred $20 for my thrift store shopping spree.  Super stoked.  

I've volunteered like crazy with ESFOA.  Managing the booth on my own for a little over four hours, I felt like I definitely got the swing of things much better and know more about the organization I volunteer with. I would like to get even more involved and approached Marilyn about it a bit at the event.  I feel like I'm not doing enough.

I suppose I should add this to my volunteer area.  I've been leading the Circle of Open Traditions since September of last year.  We are an open-faith pagan circle who celebrate the Wheel of the Year in a generalized but special way.  There's currently eight of us sans not-of-faith significant others who often join us for celebrations.  This month, we celebrated the Summer Solstice by camping out in my back yard.  You can read more about that here.

In addition to maxing out in the volunteer and weight loss sections, I spent a lot of time with my husband.  His help volunteering this past weekend was amazing.  We ended up eating out that day and I still managed to stay in check with a salad from Ventana.  Not too bad!

So that's about it for June, the month I almost didn't.  I'm going to go ahead and take this moment to bust out my July check-list.

Times are Changing plus Day 7!

Before I get into my post, I wanted to share with you our huge cleaning success this past week.  Look at that left-side catastrophe that was our den closet.  It was a terrifying wreck. Almost everything after my zombie-themed birthday party got crammed in there last year along with all our Renfest gear.  There's a torn up laundry basket filled with nothing of value on the top shelf.  I can even see a white trash bag of clothes so messed up or torn up I'd be embarrassed to donate them.  What a wreck!

Fortunately, because it was such a mess, it took me and my husband a whole two hours to clean it out total.  A lot of it went straight to the trash.  Surprisingly, under the pile was a bunch of old computer stuff that my husband had to sort.  Getting him motivated to do it was honestly what took the longest.  We ended up one with case and one box out of all of that stuff.

What was left after our clean-out was a half-empty closet that could honestly be combined with the office closet.  My goal, by the end of September, is to empty out so much of our stuff that moving is a one-day job and not a one-week job.  I also want to get empty enough by May that moving my best friend and her boyfriend in will be a piece of cake, not a cram-fest.

Which leads me to my next topic: times are changing.  My best friend, Charli, confirmed that she will be moving down by the end of May.  When we were in high school, all we ever talked about was rooming at SCAD together.  Of course, neither of us went to SCAD, and thank goodness too - she already has enough student loans and I would have actually had them on top of Aaron's.  Yikes!

Aaron and I have had our share of bad roommate experiences.  So has Charli and Eric.  After everything we've been through, Charli might be the only person in the universe I would attempt to live with.  I won't lie: I'm terrified.  I don't want to ruin our friendship.  But with some few base laws that we all have to abide by (read: roommate agreement), and some friendship elbow grease, I think it'll really work.  So far, every fear I have had about it has simply panned out, which I think is a good sign.

The other day we were talking and Charli mentioned something about how much I've changed.  So much so, she felt "out of the loop."  Things really are changing.  For one, the camping trip made me realize that I want to camp way more often.  Once a month would be great.  And I really want to go on a more extended trip involving a few days.  I never realized how much I would enjoy it.  So there's that.

Two, I've decided to make a major life decision and go pescetarian (also known as a pesci-vegetarian).  It sounds like a huge, random leap but it's actually been a long time coming.  I spent a few weeks gently avoiding all meat and found it to be relatively easy.  I then addressed my desire to my husband, who supports me whole-heartedly.  After this week, I will no longer be as lax about it was I was in the past month or so and will start stating that I'm a pescetarian when offered non-pescetarian food.

So why pescetarian?  A variety of reasons, actually.  It's actually cheaper to be a pescetarian or vegetarian than it is to be an omnivore.  There's a reason many third-world country citizens are vegetarian and not by choice.  Meat is actually downright expensive.  Also, a vegetarian or pescetarian diet tends to be fiber-rich and lower in fat.  Since I've been having trouble losing weight, a pescetarian diet could give me the boost I need to drop some more pounds.

Then there's all the standard reasons.  Everyone knows my stance on animal rights and cruelty.  How can I be against animal cruelty when I eat animals who haven't had a fair life?  I don't think for one minute that my resignation of eating beef, pork or poultry will change the industries.  It's simply a preference I have.  On top of it, abstaining from eating meat reduces my personal carbon footprint and personal water consumption.  Again, I'm not someone who thinks that my decision has a huge impact.  I'm aware of how small it is.  But small as it may be, it's there.  That's what matters to me.

But why pescetarianism instead of vegetarianism?  The answer's simple: I'm moderately carb-intolerant thanks to my thyroid.  While I still think cutting higher-fat meats out of my system will help me lose weight, I'm aware of the protein I need to survive.  Therefore, I'm willing to include fish and shellfish out of my concern for my personal health.  That also makes it easier on my relatives, who may not understand what seems like a sudden change.

If I could go vegan, I would.  I can't afford to at this point in my life.  I would like to avoid more animal products in the future, beyond just what I eat.  It's a goal for much later.

And finally, my Day 7 Inspirational Challenge from Monday:

Inspirational Challenge

Day 7: Monday, April 15th

Wake up 30 minutes early for...

Breakfast Questions

What is my greatest challenge in my life right now?
Honestly, I'm a harsh critic of everyone when I'm completely by myself.  I need to stop judging others by the same standard I judge myself.  Everyone's fighting their own battle and trying their best.

Who do I love in my life?
My husband helps me through everything.  He is my psychiatrist, my wellness coach, my support group, my chef and my love all in one.  I don't know how I got so lucky.

What am I proud of in my life?
My three rescues who continue to amaze me every day.
My ability to achieve my dream job and maintain it without having a "day" job.
My dedication to my health.  Even if I messed up a bit last month, I've been routinely successful.

What brings me happiness in my life?

My friends.  They're an amazing group of girls.  I have so much in common with them and they have truly changed my life.  And my best friend, who has always been there for me, always pushing me to be the best version of myself possible.

What am I grateful for in my life?

My health.  Despite being hypothyroid, which is a common affliction and manageable with medication, I am otherwise healthy and relatively fit.

One Random Act of Kindness

I offered my condolences about the Boston Marathon explosions on Monday via Facebook to spread the word.  It's not much, I know, but it's something.

Also, while it's not really random, I did offer to pay for my religious group's get-together next Tuesday on Monday.

Donate One Item

Final donation list: Bag of 20+ like-new cat and dog toys, pirate shirt (never used), old pageboy hat, art box, braided leather belt, two fake machetes, Webster Dictionary, Hawaii keychain, two bracelets, two banana clips and one incense burner.
There's actually a lot more than this, but these are the items I decided to pull specifically for this challenge.

Read for 30 Minutes

Did this!

20-30 Minutes of Exercise

Walked the dog for about 20 minutes.  You know, before it started raining again...

End of the Day Questions

How did today go?
It went well!

What were your strengths?
I've been having a long streak of successful portion control this week.  Seems I'm back on my diet full-force!

What were your weaknesses?
Trying to work has been a struggle.  I'm experiencing severe burnout from work.  Also, the two weeks almost-straight of clouds have not helped one bit.

What went well?
Since we finished cleaning the closet today, donating was again the easiest task.

What are you grateful for?
My husband and pets, who make life worth living.

What could you do different next time?
When I wake up, I need to stay up, no matter how tired the clouds make me.  I think it's impeding any desire I have to work.

Anything else?
Nope!

I got a volunteer position!

I have to give a giant shout-out to this website.  I went from no research and no opportunities to a volunteer quite literally overnight!  Here's the story.

After posting my journal entry here last night, it was weighing on me that I've done absolutely nothing about researching volunteer options.  To jump start my research for later this week, I decided to do a very fast Google search: "How to volunteer at a pet shelter."  The third link down was this website.

Now I've signed up for websites like this before without any chance of response, but I thought it might be a step forward.  What's the worst that could happen - I sign up, hear nothing back and have to track down individual shelters like my original plan?  No big deal.

So I filled out the form.  It was very to the point and had a multitude of check boxes for anything you could think of doing. I submitted it last night before I went to bed assuming that'd probably be the last of it.

Then I woke up to an e-mail from a local pet shelter.  They have pet adoption events at an even-more-local store every first and third Saturday and wanted to know if I could help out.  Within just a few hours, I was already a volunteer and my first shift is this Saturday!

So, if you're looking for a volunteer opportunity, love pets and don't know where to start, give AdoptAPet.com a shot!

My Volunteer Ideas

This is Nyx.  She's feisty and I often refer to her as my little heinous bitch.  She has all the boys under her control because she is the queen.  It's that Tortitude, but that's what I love about her.  And she's technically not my cat - she's really more my husband's.  He's the one that attempted one winter evening to soothe a meowing outside cat with a box and a blanket only to return with her in arm.  Suddenly, we had our first pet. Nyx and I bumped heads at first - a lot - but I love her with all my heart.

She was a fatal casualty of the horror that was 2012.  Towards the end of a Halloween get-together I was having, I noticed Nyx was cuddling with Hermes, our white Siamese tomcat.  While Hermes had always had a fondness for her, Nyx was always weary of him.  It was a really unusual sight, so I was quite aware something was wrong.  Since Monday of that week, she'd stopped eating dry food.  She was still eating tuna when I'd open a can, so I assumed she was just being picky that we'd switched to diet food.  Sitting there that Wednesday night, I was aware we needed to get her to a vet soon.

The next morning, Nyx slinked off the bed and gagged as though she was going to throw up for a good five minutes.  That was it for me.  Aaron, my husband, took off of work and we took her to our vet.  They said that her liver was failing and that they needed to hold on to her for 24-48 hours to see if they could reverse the problem.

We called every day for almost four days but no change.  I then took her home from our standard vet and took her to an emergency vet.  They told us that she needed a feeding tube when they first found out her liver was failing, but now her body was too weak to sustain the anesthesia.

They recommended we put her to sleep.

It was an intense set of days.  When we got home, I walked for an hour, then had to call Aaron because I had no idea how to get home.  I'd blanked the whole time from grief.  We'd only had her for two years, and she was only six years old - just a week or two from her seventh birthday and the anniversary of finding her. Nothing about it seemed fair and, on top of it, we now had $1000 in vet bills to pay.

And the worst part was, this was pretty typical of 2012.

My husband and I know we want to adopt again eventually.  We actually decided to wait out the winter in case a cat showed up on our doorstep.  I actually deeply hoped one would; it would at least make her death make a little cosmic sense.  But here we are, three and a half months later and no cat.  Not even one.  Which is funny because we had, counting Nyx, three who all came from showing up on our doorstep.

There are a multitude of places I would be interested in one-time volunteering at, such as a soup kitchen or the North Kansas City Hospital around Christmas.  But the research I want to do this month is looking into local pet shelters, entirely spurred by Nyx's passing.  I would like to give my time sorting papers, cleaning kennels - whatever it is that they need me to do - to help out animals that they've pulled from the street for a better home.

Because, honestly, that's what my husband and I have done for the past two years.

Hermes and his sister were dumped in the mail room of our last apartment complex.  We took them both in with the idea of adopting them off to caring people.  His sister (on the right) did get adopted (and named Khione, Greek for snow).

We actually ended up adopting Hermes ourselves.

Zeus climbed out of a storm drain during a rainy day to grab my foot.  "Please take me in."  How could I say no?

I picked up Artemis from an owner who abused and neglected him - all because they didn't know how to properly potty train a dog.

And Nyx jumped into my husband's arms before an ice storm on a cold winter's night.

And maybe, just maybe, by volunteering at a pet shelter, I'll find a cat who melts my heart the way all of my pets did.  Whose story and big eyes tell me that they're meant to be with me.  And everything will make sense again.