Monday, March 10, 2014

Health update.

On my most recent life update, I mentioned I was having some health issues.  I intentionally left them vague at the time, particularly since many of the issues aren't publicly acceptable to discuss anyway.  I saw my doctor on that next Monday, February 24th, and was referred to a GI specialist.  I saw him on the following Monday, March 3rd.  He ordered further testing, including blood work, an ultrasound of my gallbladder and abdomen, and an EGD and colonoscopy.  I had my blood work and ultrasound on Friday and anticipate at least some answers within the next few days.  My EGD and colonoscopy is scheduled for the 26th.

Seeing a GI attests to at least some of my "unspeakable" symptoms, which includes inappropriate blood and color if you get my drift.  I'm also having severe pain in my upper abdomen starting at the center and spanning out equally on both sides, nearly under my rib cage.  It happens every few weeks or so and lasts about 5-8 hours, coming in 1 to 1.5 hour waves and forcing me to throw up.  This is something I've been complaining about since November, but thought it was due to my increased consumption of "bad foods," like gluten and sugar.  However, the episodes didn't subside once I was back on the diet.  In fact, even when I was on the diet and exercising regular, I gained weight.  On top of it all, I've been severely fatigued despite having level thyroid results.  Likely, blood loss and improper digestion is to blame.

My GI doc suggested a plethora of potential diagnoses.  One was gallstones or gallbladder inflammation.  Unfortunately, my symptoms suggest either something larger than that or more than one diagnosis.  He thinks that, in addition to gallstones or gallbladder inflammation, I had a polyp rupture.  However, without the colonoscopy and EGD, he can't be certain.  He is concerned about colon cancer given my symptoms and my family history, but hopes that my age is a helping factor.  Other potential diagnoses include diverticulitis and Crohn's with my autoimmune disorders.  He did suggest I consider immunosuppressants for my MAS, but I've been REALLY trying to avoid those since they can up your chances for getting sick and developing other issues, including cancer.

Honestly, with everything going on, I've pretty much been MIA since mid-February.  I get up, work and go to bed.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  It's been the easiest way to manage my pain and energy levels.  Because I took off a week in February from the flu, I really can't afford to take off any more time or I would do it.

For a couple weeks there, I just gave in to my illness.  I think I mentally needed to for a while.  Even with MAS, I don't typically consider myself a sick person despite fighting my body on a daily basis.  I feel like I complete an impressive amount of tasks given my situation.  But adding these symptoms on top of my daily battles with my chronic condition was too much.

I've been told by a couple of well-intentioned but ultimately misguided people that I'm not fighting hard enough.  That I took the potential diagnoses and the tests too hard.  That I should have just picked myself up and kept going.  Easier said than done.  On any given day, without my new potential issues, I wake up tired, cold, foggy and aching.  I have a headache and my nose is stuffed from allergies, giving me a migraine, and I have to take a few puffs of my inhaler for my asthma.  I have sores all over from psoriasis and I'm bloated.  MAS does all of this to you, and more.  But I get myself up at 6 AM, work out, eat well, run my own business (which involves being the artist, CEO, secretary, sales, billing, marking and customer service department all in one for often around 10 hours a day), volunteer, clean my home, greet my husband, take care of four rescue pets, visit friends, participate in my religion, exercise again in the evening and go to bed.  That's a standard day in my life. given that it's just my autoimmune disorders that are flaring.  I live through the pain and I rarely complain.  For that, I'll give myself one huge pat on the back.

But add crippling pain that leaves me writhing on the floor of the bathroom for a full day, forcing me to miss work and, subsequently, not be paid.  Add significant blood loss on a daily basis.  Add being even more exhausted than usual, to the point that moving my hand to draw might as well be the same as trying to push down my apartment building by myself.  And hearing that damn C word again.  I heard it last year when my immune system attacked my eyes.  I heard it earlier this year in reference to a new mole on my stomach, of which I've still not had time to schedule a derm appointment for in between all of this.  And now I'm hearing it in reference to my stomach.

I think there comes a point where you just have to shut down for a while to recoup.  So yes, for a while, I was Miss Negative Nancy.  I would curl up in bed every chance I got and I stopped going out.

It gave me some time to figure things out.  To settle with the idea that I may be having surgery for the first time ever, and will be sedated at the end of the month for the first time ever.  To build up some missing energy that's being sucked away from me by two, or maybe even three, totally different issues.

It gave me a moment to get my shit together.

So I sat down today and finished commissions, unfortunately two days past schedule thanks to my passing out after my blood work and ultrasound on Friday.  And I scheduled my next week.  I bought food for the diet.  Just because I'm not seeing weight loss doesn't give me permission to eat junk.  It's not going to help my current symptoms anyway.

This is why I've been absent the past few weeks, and why my goals didn't really budge last month.  I don't know how far I'll get this month.  I don't really care.  The fact that I'm going forward at all is impressive, I think.  And even if I just stood still, it's whatever I have to do to get through this.

So there's my health update.

10 comments:

  1. Yikes! Sorry to hear about all the pain and troubles you've been going through! I hope they figure out the cause soon and get you all fixed up! I know the C word is scary, but try not to worry yourself too much...it's a possibility, not an absolute and you don't need the extra stress at this point!

    Coming from someone who's been sedated and gone into surgery more times than I can count on my fingers, I find it amazing that you've gone through life thus far and haven't even needed sedation! I'm sure the worst part will be the needles/IV for you! Falling asleep is the easy part. I always hate having to wake up afterwards because they want you out of recovery but the anesthetics linger and it's so tempting to get some great sleep. Just let the docs know if there are any pain meds that make you sick. Vicodin never fails at upsetting my stomach and I make sure my husband knows too. Good luck with all your upcoming procedures!

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    1. Honestly, I had more problems coping with the C word when it was in reference to my pituitary gland last year than now. After all of that, it just becomes another little nervous check mark on a list of things wrong with me, lol. But you're right - I need to stop thinking "Hey, it's gallbladders, polyps... and MAYBE CANCER." My dad survived colon cancer. If it is cancer, I'll survive it like he did.

      Thank you so much for your recount of surgery and sedation. I haven't been on prescription painkillers since I was young and I don't even know what it was. Probably just a prescription-strength version of an OTC pain med. So I guess I'll find out what pain meds make me sick. Maybe I'll be lucky and it'll be none that they put me on!

      Overall, sadly, my biggest concern in all of this is trying to get it all out of the way before April. After April 1st, my life gets crazy hectic and I can't even picture surgery or being laid up as a part of all of it. Ain't nobody got time for that.

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  2. Oh, sweetheart I had a feeling when you sort of disapeared that either you or your pets may be in distress. Perhaps your husband could do a candle and a prayer for you at his church. I went through a very scary heart situation that ultimatley led to surgery and was only 21 at the time and I went through it completely alone diagnosis and surgury ect. And now when I look back it actually was fairly breezy because I was asleep for most of all of it. The worst was just being stuck in hospital icu for 12 days. I think it was far worse for the people around me than me. So try not to be to worried or scared. This to shall pass and then surely the sky will open up and only shine down sun and joy on you and you'll be a better stronger person for having endured all the crud.
    hugs to you .
    keep the faith : I always get scared thinking maybe the bad stuff is a punishment for for being witchy minded and it is gods way of breaking me down to get me to come to him. Hmmm.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it. I think things like this always makes you question whether you're going in the right direction. For me, it didn't make me question my faith - it made me question the people I surrounded myself with. Either way, it makes you change.

      And thank you for your recount of your surgery. Between you and my other commenter, I feel a bit better about going under the knife.

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  3. *hugs*

    My solution is Pizza and Wine. (And yes...we can make the pizza super healthy)

    Feel better sweetie. *More Hugs*

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    1. If I could have pizza and wine, I'd be all for it. Gotta find a cheat day, lol. Thank you!

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  4. I just hope you get better, I was missing your posts !

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  5. Hi, just wanted to let you in on a little tip, I follow your pinterest boards by way of your other blog. And I seen you had some books that you would like for yule. I would highly suggest going to your public library It is highly likely that you could get what you are looking for you can get e books through the library now, Also there is a thing called inter library loan where if your library does not have it, they will borrow from another library system. I have had books come from as far as england. And there is a chance although small they may have what you want on the shelf, Also dont hesitate to do the (ill) interlibrary loan because they often purchase brand new release books from ill requests. I have a 2014 book coming to me that way. perhaps some interesting reading will help keep you calm and help the time pass.
    hugs
    and am keeping you in my thoughts

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    1. lol That's some immense stalking there! I kid. I do appreciate the information, but I enjoy owning my books. Something about knowing they're mine. Plus, if you open most any of my books, you'll find highlights and markings. I don't just read books, I devour them! That's not something I can do with a library book. Nonetheless, thank you so much for letting me know!

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    2. Hi, ha, ha, oh, dear. Actually I seen a pin someone had pinned of your's and I was like oh, she's on pinterest cool. And then the wheat belly books caught my eye, I have been so sick for so long and am convinced it is something to do with food. I just learned about soy allergies yesterday in a first magazine article and omg. it sounds like me totally. I thought perhaps pcos because some of the symptoms are the same but I don.t have them all and was tested negative. Anyways, Maybe a food allergy could be to blame for your issues, if nothing else proves out. Food intolerances allergies can have some severe effects it is quite shocking when you start to get into the whole thing anyway. Sorry for the long reply.
      good luck with your tests and hope this all resolves really quick for you.

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