Health update.

On my most recent life update, I mentioned I was having some health issues.  I intentionally left them vague at the time, particularly since many of the issues aren't publicly acceptable to discuss anyway.  I saw my doctor on that next Monday, February 24th, and was referred to a GI specialist.  I saw him on the following Monday, March 3rd.  He ordered further testing, including blood work, an ultrasound of my gallbladder and abdomen, and an EGD and colonoscopy.  I had my blood work and ultrasound on Friday and anticipate at least some answers within the next few days.  My EGD and colonoscopy is scheduled for the 26th.

Seeing a GI attests to at least some of my "unspeakable" symptoms, which includes inappropriate blood and color if you get my drift.  I'm also having severe pain in my upper abdomen starting at the center and spanning out equally on both sides, nearly under my rib cage.  It happens every few weeks or so and lasts about 5-8 hours, coming in 1 to 1.5 hour waves and forcing me to throw up.  This is something I've been complaining about since November, but thought it was due to my increased consumption of "bad foods," like gluten and sugar.  However, the episodes didn't subside once I was back on the diet.  In fact, even when I was on the diet and exercising regular, I gained weight.  On top of it all, I've been severely fatigued despite having level thyroid results.  Likely, blood loss and improper digestion is to blame.

My GI doc suggested a plethora of potential diagnoses.  One was gallstones or gallbladder inflammation.  Unfortunately, my symptoms suggest either something larger than that or more than one diagnosis.  He thinks that, in addition to gallstones or gallbladder inflammation, I had a polyp rupture.  However, without the colonoscopy and EGD, he can't be certain.  He is concerned about colon cancer given my symptoms and my family history, but hopes that my age is a helping factor.  Other potential diagnoses include diverticulitis and Crohn's with my autoimmune disorders.  He did suggest I consider immunosuppressants for my MAS, but I've been REALLY trying to avoid those since they can up your chances for getting sick and developing other issues, including cancer.

Honestly, with everything going on, I've pretty much been MIA since mid-February.  I get up, work and go to bed.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  It's been the easiest way to manage my pain and energy levels.  Because I took off a week in February from the flu, I really can't afford to take off any more time or I would do it.

For a couple weeks there, I just gave in to my illness.  I think I mentally needed to for a while.  Even with MAS, I don't typically consider myself a sick person despite fighting my body on a daily basis.  I feel like I complete an impressive amount of tasks given my situation.  But adding these symptoms on top of my daily battles with my chronic condition was too much.

I've been told by a couple of well-intentioned but ultimately misguided people that I'm not fighting hard enough.  That I took the potential diagnoses and the tests too hard.  That I should have just picked myself up and kept going.  Easier said than done.  On any given day, without my new potential issues, I wake up tired, cold, foggy and aching.  I have a headache and my nose is stuffed from allergies, giving me a migraine, and I have to take a few puffs of my inhaler for my asthma.  I have sores all over from psoriasis and I'm bloated.  MAS does all of this to you, and more.  But I get myself up at 6 AM, work out, eat well, run my own business (which involves being the artist, CEO, secretary, sales, billing, marking and customer service department all in one for often around 10 hours a day), volunteer, clean my home, greet my husband, take care of four rescue pets, visit friends, participate in my religion, exercise again in the evening and go to bed.  That's a standard day in my life. given that it's just my autoimmune disorders that are flaring.  I live through the pain and I rarely complain.  For that, I'll give myself one huge pat on the back.

But add crippling pain that leaves me writhing on the floor of the bathroom for a full day, forcing me to miss work and, subsequently, not be paid.  Add significant blood loss on a daily basis.  Add being even more exhausted than usual, to the point that moving my hand to draw might as well be the same as trying to push down my apartment building by myself.  And hearing that damn C word again.  I heard it last year when my immune system attacked my eyes.  I heard it earlier this year in reference to a new mole on my stomach, of which I've still not had time to schedule a derm appointment for in between all of this.  And now I'm hearing it in reference to my stomach.

I think there comes a point where you just have to shut down for a while to recoup.  So yes, for a while, I was Miss Negative Nancy.  I would curl up in bed every chance I got and I stopped going out.

It gave me some time to figure things out.  To settle with the idea that I may be having surgery for the first time ever, and will be sedated at the end of the month for the first time ever.  To build up some missing energy that's being sucked away from me by two, or maybe even three, totally different issues.

It gave me a moment to get my shit together.

So I sat down today and finished commissions, unfortunately two days past schedule thanks to my passing out after my blood work and ultrasound on Friday.  And I scheduled my next week.  I bought food for the diet.  Just because I'm not seeing weight loss doesn't give me permission to eat junk.  It's not going to help my current symptoms anyway.

This is why I've been absent the past few weeks, and why my goals didn't really budge last month.  I don't know how far I'll get this month.  I don't really care.  The fact that I'm going forward at all is impressive, I think.  And even if I just stood still, it's whatever I have to do to get through this.

So there's my health update.