Life Update Sunday!

Don't think I'm going to make it to my mom's today for Exercise Sunday.  It may not look like much thanks to strong -10F winds, but there's 5.1" of snow blowing around in my zip code today.  Under that?  A quarter-inch of ice.  We never get our snow without some ice.  Woo, Misery - I mean Missouri!  Yes.  Missouri.

Since my decision to leave Facebook, I've wanted to start a weekly Life Update day.  Hopefully this will be an every-Sunday kind of thing.  At least, when I have the time.  Caricature season gets extremely busy in the summer through fall, but with some preemptive scheduling, I should still be able to hit it.

The cold I had this past week is making its rounds as my husband, Aaron, finally picked it up.  "It's not that bad," he says as he goes back to bed for the third time.  Yeah, that's what I was saying for the first few days.  Of course, my asthma was the only reason I hit a doctor's office.  They ended up giving me a breathing treatment on the spot.  Aaron doesn't have asthma, so hopefully it'll be a smoother ride for him.

The fuzzy babies are doing well.  Hermes and Apollo are becoming even closer.  I'm very proud of those two.  When we first got Apollo, Hermes couldn't do anything but hiss at the little guy.  This has convinced me that Zeus is the Love Bug of our group, spreading peace and joy where ever his fat little body goes.  Zeus has always been best friends with all of our fuzzy babies, even attempting to get on Nyx's better side.  It was Zeus that welcomed Hermes into our home with a headbutt and a purr.  And now that we have Apollo, I fully believe that Zeus, who has been acting like Mister Mom to Lil' Bits, is the main source of the serenity in our household.

Speaking of Zeus, you'll be happy to hear that he's losing weight!  Aaron and I have noticed that he's getting a little less rotund in the midsection and has more energy from his new grain-free formula.  In fact, he started up the "7 AM Train" this morning.  When we first got Zeus, Artie and he would zoom around the house at 7 in the morning chasing each other.  After about six months, it stopped.  This is also when Zeus starting getting plump.  This morning, I was woken up by that same 7 AM Train with a twist: It involved all four pets and ended in my arm.  Ouch!  I bled, I hived and I'm over it, but Lil Bits has to watch those claws!

Hermes has continued his more-loving and more-needy lifestyle.  Once upon a time, this cat was almost unbearable, earning the nickname Asscat for everything he destroyed in his path and his attitude when I nailed him for it.  Now, he has to be in my lap at least three hours out of the day, which is difficult for me when I'm trying to work.

He's also discovered that he can climb one of our bookshelves.  I guess that continues his Asscat legacy, but I'm terrified that he'll end up knocking it over because of how big he is.  Training continues.

Artie Bean is doing well.  He's struggling with the negative temperatures outside.  We're trying to limit his walks, but it seems like he has to be out there for at least ten minutes before he can take a number two, leaving him to walk funny as he gets ice between his paws.  Aaron and I have admittedly laughed at it, but we both know that it means the cold is hurting.  I've tried trimming the fur back in between his paw pads and am planning on getting him booties (Oh lawd, I know, I know) but, until then, all I can do is pick him up and gently hold his paws until they're warmer.  I know I treat Artie like my little baby boy, but he truly is a blessing for how amazingly smart and empathetic he is.  He, like the rest of my fuzzy babies, deserves nothing but the best.

Also, as I'm sure you can tell in the picture up there, he's due for a teeth cleaning.  I was desperately hoping to make it a couple years before he needed another one, but he's prone to tartar build up.  Poor little guy.  He's going to be so distressed when he finds out he needs another one...

And, of course, Apollo (aka Lil Bits) is growing up fast!  He's actually really mellow for a kitten, but we have got to break him of attacking things under the covers.  He wakes me up at least twice every night because I twitch in my sleep.  If I move a hand under the blanket or a foot, it's claw city.  Caaaaaaaaaaaat!

He's also about due for vet check up number three, where his, er, nuggets will be removed.  As usual, I'll be guilt-ridden dropping him off at the vet that day, but I refuse to own a pet who won't be fixed.  With all my volunteering at shelters and foster groups, I've learned this: It only takes once.

As far as other updates go, I weighed in this morning and found myself at my goal weight for Thursday.  Boy I'm losing it fast!  I expected nothing different though, as my diet change was sudden and temporary.  I'm sure I'll hit a wall around 155 (as I did last year), but I'm prepared to actually be my goal weight this year.  Nothing will hold me back - not even being blind.  I was never overweight as a teen or even a young adult but hypothyroidism is, for lack of a better word, a bitch.  I can't wait to be me again.

With that, I believe it's time for me to get off of here and get some things done.  I have a plant chart to make for my balcony garden, a book to catch up on and some work to do.  Catch you all on the next update!

2014 Health Goals: Lets Do it Again!

This is maybe one of my most disappointing sections.  I made it so far last year only to bounce back horribly after a terrible autoimmune inflammation that left me laid up and unable to do anything for almost three months.  However, I have to remind myself that what's done is done.  It's in the past.  In order to lose the weight, I'm going to have to move past my failure.

With that being said, let's dive into my 2014 health goals!

Last year, I desperately wanted to relive my running days, but I no longer have a deep seeded need to make that marathon.  If I do, I do.  Fantastic!  More important to me, however, is losing the weight and keeping it off.  So my health goals this year will focus on that.

In 2013, I wanted to lose 30 lbs.  Though I have yet to weigh myself, I can guarantee that I'm back to where I was at the beginning of last year.  I think one of the problems I had was that three pounds a month was so incredibly doable that it took no effort.  Often, I ate on the diet 5/7 days of the week and lost the weight effortlessly.  Sounds like a dream, doesn't it?  Unfortunately, it made it all too easy to gain it back.  "Oh, I've done it before.  I can do it again.  It wasn't like it was hard."  This year, instead of losing three pounds, I'd like to up that to five.  In order to his this goal, I will have to exercise and diet properly for six out of seven days of the week.  Maybe I'll appreciate myself more if it takes more effort.  Five pounds is still more than doable.

At five pounds a month, that will still leave me with two Lose 15 Pounds goals.  I'm good with that.

That will also have me end sometime around late June, giving me six months of maintenance.  However, I know I'm liable to falter here and there.  With that in mind, my third goal should be to Maintain my Weight for Three Months.  Should I successfully complete my weight loss journey by June, this doesn't mean that I should maintain my weight until October then go crazy with holiday foods.  It means that, if I falter and manage to hit my goal weight by September or October, I can still hit my maintenance goal with relative ease.

By weight maintenance, I'd like to place the stipulation of +/- 3 lbs.  That means water weight or a little extra goodies one week won't deter me from still hitting that goal.  My end weight for December 31st should be between 137 and 143 pounds.

Losing weight requires changing the lifestyle I've been on since I started gaining weight in late August.  As with last year, I want to create small, positive goals to lose those five pounds a month as well as begin my maintenance period.  Here's the chart I came up with:

I am aware of the typo in the first row.  It should be 8 glasses of water, not 8 ounces of water.

This chart may be edited once every three months to reflect my weight loss progress and get me remotivated, particularly if I come up with new ways to lose weight.

As with last year, I also want to revamp my wardrobe once the weight is lost.  I've decided to tack on an additional $50 to my wardrobe money to make it seem more appealing.  I'm also going to give pretty sizable boosts for getting under 140 lbs.  Here's the basic chart that will get me that $150 new wardrobe money to blow at a thrift store!

In addition to the final reward of a new wardrobe, I need small rewards along the way to make the weight loss worthwhile.  Once I hit maintenance, I may start rewarding myself for managing my weight if it's necessary.  I'm hoping eventually to do it of my own free will.

(Also, can I just say that I really want to get all of my friends together for the new wardrobe purchase, take multiple videos of thrift store shopping and make a kick-ass video to Thrift Shop by Macklemore.)

Last year, I managed to get my TSH levels for my hypothyroidism more under control, with my most recent test at a little over 7 (your TSH levels should fall somewhere between .3 and 3).  This year, I'd like to hit optimum TSH levels and get my thyroid thing officially behind me.  In order to do that, I feel like Seeing an Endocrinologist is of the utmost importance.  S/he may be able to help me with other hormone and vitamin deficiencies I have, thus getting me closer to better health.  As of right now, my prescription for Levothyroxine runs out late January.  Because winter months in KC are a, for a lack of a better word, bitch to drive in and the endocrinologist I'd like to see is about an hour away, I'm more than willing to go back to my primary for my January test.  That will give me three more months of pills.  This puts seeing an Endocrinologist on my to-do list in March or April.

My final health goal is to begin Managing my Stress.  I have Multiple Autoimmune Syndrome.  Many of my symptoms flare up during times of intense stress (my Scleritis while we were moving, my psoriasis flaring at every single stress point in. My. Life. Ever., etc).  If I want to help my immune issues, I absolutely have to get my stress under control.  My goal is to try one new stress management technique a month.  After asking Facebook and doing some research, here's a monthly table I've created to help me achieve this goal:

So let's take a look at my 2014 health goals on the primary chart:

As with Financial goals, there are no habit goals to add to my monthly goal list template.  That makes throwing together that template pretty easy.  Here it is!

HEALTH - 0% Complete

See an endocrinologist (March/April). – Done | Not Done – 0% complete.

Lose 5 pounds. – 0/5 pounds – 0% complete.

Try one stress management technique for the month – 0/x Days – 0% complete.

Some notes:  None.

Almost half way there!

Next time on The Progressive Planner:

My 2014 Home Goals.

Question for my readers:

What are your 2014 health goals?

My Exercise and Diet Plan

I have a little under 28 days until my birthday party at RenFest.  When I bought my corset, I was 175 and asked them to fit it extremely tightly.  I want to have to relace that thing this year.  That means, I have to get as small as possible by that day.  With some work, I created a healthy, happy 10 pounds in 28 days plan!

Using the Harris Benedict Equation, I have a daily caloric need of 1853.  My BMR is 1544, so I don't want to drop below that.  That gives me a daily deficit naturally of 309 calories.

As far as eating goes, I'm going to stick it hard to my thyroid diet prescribed to me by my doctors.  Over the years I've been hypothyroid, I do eat mostly to the diet but I cheat every now and then.  Sometimes I just want a glass of milk or a nice bowl of watermelon, dang it!  If I were on maintain, those cheats would be just part of me maintaining my lifestyle and still enjoying my food.  However, I'm not there yet.  That means those little cheats are a big no-no.  I need to cleanse my body of all the foods it can't handle.

On top of that, I used a little calculation to determine the amount of water I need to drink every day.  You take your weight, divide it by 2.2 and then divide that by 8.  I came up with a number just over 9, but I rounded up anyway and ended up with a whopping 10 glasses of water every day.

Unfortunately, that's not enough to lose the weight I need to lose.  I also know from experience that diet alone doesn't work for those of us with hypothyroidism.  Even if the calories are right, your metabolism simply adjusts.  So I've got to add in quite a bit of exercise to the equation.

But how much?  If a pound of fat takes 3500 calories to remove and I have ten of them, I'm looking at burning 35000 calories in the next for weeks.  Yeouch!  Breaking that down, that's 1250 calories a day and I only get 309 from food. That leaves a whopping 941 calories in exercise.

Exercise is a tricky thing.  I don't want to hurt myself or stress myself out about it, so the best bet is to break it into easy, doable segments.

Here's the breakdown:

Activity	Calorie Deficit
Diet	309
Morning Daily Exercises	150
Afternoon Exercise	320
Evening Exercise	320
Night Daily Exercises	150

That creates a grand total of 1250 calories a day.  Well, technically, it's 1249 but I assume at one point I'll go at least a calorie over.

For the Morning and Night Daily Exercises, this is my planned routine:

Activity	Number of Reps
Push-ups	10
Jumping Jacks	50
Sit-ups	20
Plank	45 Seconds
Cannons	10
Mountain Climbers	10
Bicycles	20

Of course, the more I do it, the less calories this will burn.  Every Sunday, I will be doing as many as I can and readjusting the numbers from there.

Now, what about the Afternoon and Evening Exercise sets?

For the afternoon, I've broken it down to four cardio and three muscle building exercise videos a week.  A huge thank you to Fitness Blender, and of course, Les Mills Combat and Chalene Johnson's TurboFire.

For the evening, I'll be beginning my 5k training.  I'll be jogging and walking until my heart rate monitor turns the 320 mark.  Maybe even longer!

Speaking of which, my heart rate monitor is going to play a huge part in this.  How do you know how many calories your burning in an exercise?  A nice wireless heart rate monitor with a chest strap makes everything so much easier!

And finally, on top of all of this, getting back on my levothyroxine will certainly help.  I can't even believe that I fell off of it!  My big goal for the first week of October will be seeing an endocrinologist to help me with my final big 10-13 pounds.

For all of the work this seems, it's actually not too much.    I'm assuming my Daily Exercises will take around 20 minutes per session.  The major exercise sessions in the afternoon and evening should be around 45 minutes each.  Between the two, I'm looking at a little over two hours a day.  The Daily Exercises will be done right when I wake up and right before I go to bed - a time where I'd be spending my 20 minutes doing nothing.  So I'm not losing any time there.  The afternoon slot can be done on my lunch break and my evening slot can be completed with Aaron when he gets home from work and the sun has set a bit.

All in all, I readily expect to lose the weight I want to lose with this and correcting the mistakes I made over the past few months.  Even if I miss out on a few exercise days, I should get extremely close to my goal.

With that being said, I need to hop in to my afternoon exercise!

Some updates and looking ahead!

Let's start with the first major success: I weighed myself this morning and am 3.6 pounds down!  Look at that beautiful number.  I'm nearing the weight I was when I got my driver's license at 17.  Exciting!

Also, here's the completed linen closet in all its glory.  Sorry for the fuzzy picture - my camera on my phone's been acting up.  But you at least get the gist - much more organized!  Ignore some of the lopsidedness of some of the upper shelves.  I'm short and didn't have a chair or footstool to use.

Which reminds me that I still need to purchase my digital camera for being 160 lbs.  And my Wreck This Journal box set.  Because I took June off, I've been trying to build some funds before I make any major purchases.

I have volunteer orientation with the Crossroads Hospice this upcoming Saturday.  The Crossroads Hospice is bringing Artie around to visit residents.  I'm very excited, if not a little nervous, about it.  Artie is fantastic with other people - that's why I signed him up for the opportunity.  He absolutely loves older people and just generally wants to make everyone feel better. That being said, they also want to see his temperament with other dogs.  This is where it gets a little tricky.  Artie is, nine times out of ten, fantastic with other animals. He's friendly, playful, happy and spunky.  But then there's just that one dog that, for whatever reason, he doesn't like.  He's never, ever bit another dog and, because he's small, it's easy to intervene by just picking him up.  Treats particularly help him stay focused.  I just would really hate for his temperament with one dog to ruin his chances at volunteering with people.  I suppose I wasn't aware there'd be so many other animals at the Gladstone location.  If there's just a few, he'll be just fine, but if there's a large group, he might get overwhelmed.  What I signed him up for was the people portion, which Artie will love and be a great help in!  It's just a matter of if he can make it past orientation.  On the bright side, if he does pass, it's once a month, which shouldn't interfere with my other volunteering.

I also have volunteer orientation with the KC Pet Project this upcoming Monday.  It's more of what I've been doing with ESFOA and TARA.  I also begin my Cat Caregiver position with TARA tomorrow.  Excited about that as well.

Looking at how fast I'm speeding through some of my goals got me thinking about 2014 today.  Even it were December right now, I'd feel so much more accomplished this year than I have previously, so I'm definitely going to continue The Progressive Planner.  But what is it that I want to do with 2014?  Here's some ideas that have at least made a pit stop in my jumbled head:

1. Be able to speak basic Spanish again (knowledge).
2. Buy our first tent so we can camp more often (relationship/financial).
3. Learn how to swim (health).
4. Attend one convention related to my career (career).
5. Maintain savings and add an additional 20% (financial).
6. Begin looking into investing money and retirement options as a freelancing illustrator (financial/career).
7. Get my own health insurance (health/financial).
8. Complete a Wreck This Journal (personal).

So what about you?  How are you doing on your goals now that we're more than half-way through the year?  Have you given any thought to 2014?

June - The Month I Almost Didn't.

I could say something fancy about June being the halfway point, the steep slope at the top of the mountain that I want 2013 to be, but that's really not what caused me to fall behind this month.  And, regardless of what the number at the top of my check-in below says, I really did fall behind.

I think there's an inevitable adjustment period for any major life change.  Even if it's a smooth transition, underlying stress can really bite at you.  That's what I've been experiencing for June.

My biggest problem was work.  I never intended to take June off.  May was my resting month.  June just kind of got tagged on to it.  My biggest problem?  I still feel like Charli and Eric are visiting.  I can't tell you how many times I skipped work to watch a movie or talk to my best friend in the dining room.  Sometimes, just sitting bored here at the desk will get me working, but I'm not even around my computer much anymore.  And it's not for lack of Charli telling me to work.  I just feel like it's rude to hide back here and not talk to anyone.  And that's my problem.

I also didn't get much cleaning done.  Heck, I fell behind on my chores.  Given that I previously did all of the chores on the chart, only having to do a few should free up my time.  Instead, I can't even attack them.  Also my problem.  

In the process, my desk, which was going fairly unused, is also getting cluttered with my things.  It's an easy place to put everything.  We also moved my desk to make room for Eric's desk.  In the process, everything that was on my desk is on the floor.  Still is.  I finally started attacking it today, but it's still a giant mess.

That being said, I have had some successes this month.

The first success is that I not only lost 5 pounds, but went on to lose and additional 1.2.  Look at that bad ass number up there.  Not only am I way overdue for my digital camera, but I'm damn close to my Wreck This Journal box set!  I've also jarred $20 for my thrift store shopping spree.  Super stoked.  

I've volunteered like crazy with ESFOA.  Managing the booth on my own for a little over four hours, I felt like I definitely got the swing of things much better and know more about the organization I volunteer with. I would like to get even more involved and approached Marilyn about it a bit at the event.  I feel like I'm not doing enough.

I suppose I should add this to my volunteer area.  I've been leading the Circle of Open Traditions since September of last year.  We are an open-faith pagan circle who celebrate the Wheel of the Year in a generalized but special way.  There's currently eight of us sans not-of-faith significant others who often join us for celebrations.  This month, we celebrated the Summer Solstice by camping out in my back yard.  You can read more about that here.

In addition to maxing out in the volunteer and weight loss sections, I spent a lot of time with my husband.  His help volunteering this past weekend was amazing.  We ended up eating out that day and I still managed to stay in check with a salad from Ventana.  Not too bad!

So that's about it for June, the month I almost didn't.  I'm going to go ahead and take this moment to bust out my July check-list.

Weight loss success and many updates.

Ugh, seriously. What was I thinking with that haircut back then?

My weight loss adventure: 32 pounds down, 20 to go. I'm well over halfway through my journey! This time last year, I'd lost my first 10 and I just could not see a difference. I'm definitely seeing it today. I feel like the person in the photo to the right isn't even the same as the one on the left! On top of that, my best friend and I went bra shopping just shortly after she took that photo.  I'm still a 38 in the strap, but I could definitely see me going down to the 36 before it's over.  I tried on a 36 in the store and it was just a tiny, tiny bit too tight.  A bigger bonus?  It was a D.  I'm going to be a 36D.  To all the people who teased me about being flat chested in high school: Suck on THAT!

Although I was actually in training bras throughout high school.  Shhhh.  I was a late bloomer. Anyway...

Speaking of my best friend, this is a group photo of myself, my husband Aaron, her boyfriend Eric and my best friend Charli (ironically also the set for one of my "before" pictures).  Charli and I met in middle school and she was quite literally my saving grace.  I was struggling with bullies and she taught me how to deal with them.  I attribute my strong will and stubborn attitude to her.  After high school, she followed her dreams of becoming an animator and went to school up near Chicago.  Once she graduated with her BFA she stayed there.  For years, she'd talked about moving back to KC for a cheaper cost of living but it just never seemed to work out.  This year, she put an expiration date on Chicago.  We moved her and her boyfriend down over the weekend of June 1st.

Both Charli and I have had multiple roommates in the past and we've both had somewhat negative experiences. Both of us are cautiously entering the world of roommatedom.  Aaron and I have a roommate agreement that we all signed.  We also have a chore chart, which is actually working out amazingly well.   It's nice to have another person in the house who can cook, taking the pressure off of Aaron from time to time.  I can't cook for beans and my diet almost exclusively requires me to do so.  Not only that, but Charli's diet is very similar to mine.  It makes things much easier.

Friday was a particularly good day.  We had a fantastic morning, Charli and I went shopping for the better part of the evening, then we all went on a double date to Granite City for the night.  If that's foreshadowing how living together will work out, bring it on!

Other than moving Charli in and losing weight, things have been slow.  Every year, I suffer burnout for about a month and a half and a "career crisis" for about a month, though usually not at the same time.  This year, they both hit and it was a double whammy I'm still trying to get over.  Nothing like feeling overworked and thinking your time as a freelancing artist has expired.  It was a tough blow to my already usually low ego to realize I have very few "useful" skills outside of drawing.  I'm over the career crisis now, but should I ever decide to change careers in the future, I will definitely have to go back to school.  Since I already have a BA, I won't be able to get the financial aid I received previously.  That means loans.  And Aaron's student loans already kill us enough as it is.  Might just be better to be a housewife at that point, lol.

And no, despite my mother-in-law's speculation, I am not currently a housewife.  I do work, and very hard might I add.

... Just not apparently when I'm suffering a burnout.

That being said, I have a few cushions I've been using the past month and a half to get by.  The first is probably the cause of my burnout in the first place - I'm well over my target income for 2013 at this point.  I'd have to fully take off another month to be even on target.  That's why I don't feel nearly as pressured to hop back on if I don't feel up to it.  The second cushion has been caricature gigs.  I market myself as a character designer and caricaturist but, this year, I've been heavily focusing character design.  When I noticed signs of burnout, I started to take more caricature gigs.  Instead of working at my own pace from home over the week, I spend time over the weekend at parties drawing people.  It's a nice change and keeps us from going too broke over the burnout months.  Plus, I'm a pretty rocking party artist if I do say so myself.  Two-and-a-half minutes gets you one of my bad boys.

Don't make a face! I will draw it in there.

Today was an odd day - I had my first hypocoma in months.  Slept all the way until 5 pm, went back to bed around 8 and slept until 1 am.  Even for the three hours I was awake, I was in a fog.  I spent a lot of time slumped in my chair in front of my computer staring off into a distance.  When I did interact, I was unintentionally snippy.  We visited my in-laws to pick up a tent for an upcoming holiday, Midsummer.  While there, I bent over to pick up a box and the tent bag fell on me.  Hurt like the dickens.  Instead of asking what happened or make sure that Aaron was okay, I snapped at him with a "THANKS."  I'm never at my best when my thyroid is being a prick.

Even though I've slept so much today, I think I'm going to go back to bed.  I'd like to get some rest and wake up at a semi-decent time to get things done.

Goodnight folks!

Ugh, hypothyroidism.

Over the past three months, I've been very stagnant on my weight loss.  That's why I decided to take an exercise class this month.  I wanted to catch up.  I thought it was my fault for not losing it.  In the first week, I lost three pounds and I was very excited!

Then I stepped on the scale this week.

Those three pounds are back and the scale reads the same old number I've been seeing for months.  And it's not just my weight.  I measured myself and found that I not only didn't lose any inches anywhere, but I actually gained in some places.  I'm so god damn frustrated.  I've tried all sorts of diet adjustments.  Various exercise levels.  It just isn't coming off. The worst part is that I was warned about this from my primary - that I would hit a weight plateau.  I just thought it'd be closer to my target weight.  And, even worse, my target weight is still 15 pounds more than what I should weigh.  And I'm 26 pounds from my target weight.

Not to sound like a whiny teenager, but it just seems so unfair.  Losing weight is hard enough.  Hypothyroidism takes that difficulty and multiplies it by 100.  I have to fight for every pound I lose - and every pound I don't lose.  I gain for absolutely no reason.  And don't even get me started on motivation.

Even worse, I did some research.  I'm already on a restrictive diet.  It seems like, in order to lose any more weight, I'm going to have to restrict myself even more.  No more high-sugar fruits or dairy.  Absolutely no breads, not even low-cal, low-carb ones.  I'd be limited to certain proteins and certain vegetables.  If I wanted any kind of diversity, I'd have to give up my pescetarian diet.  And, when and if I do lose the weight, I'd never be able to go back or I'd gain it all back.

I understand restricting yourself to a healthy diet, but where does it cross the line?  When is it no longer worth it?  To never eat another slice of bread again?  Or maybe only once a month and then have to bust rear to get it off?

I'm starting to wonder if I should give up my weight goals for this year.  But it was one of my big three.  I seriously feel like curling up in a ball and crying.  What's the point in having goals when I can't even meet them?

So I Updated my Goals Sidebar...

Holy crap, what am I doing to myself?  I am a workaholic!  So much crazy.

To give you an idea of what you should be seeing on the right-hand side, this year is roughly 33% over.  Home through Spiritual aligns with that.  I'm right on target there.

But Career through Health... I just... I don't even.

Look at that number - 61% for Career.  That's almost double where I should be.  And Financial's not too far behind at 45%.  Why am I pushing myself so hard when I'm so far ahead?  And Health... poor Health.  It's suffering at a mere 25%.

It's nothing that I didn't already know: I've been sacrificing exercise and diet to produce.  I guess I just didn't realize how much until now.  Out of all of that, I found out that I've made 53% of my target income for the year.  While that sounds spectacular, the fact that I haven't lost weight in two months is the result.

To be fair, I haven't worked since the 1st.  I'm probably going to go ahead and take the upcoming week off as well.  I need some time.  It's one thing to be invested in your job.  It's another thing to live and breathe it 24/7.  That's what I've been doing.  At this point, the only way to keep myself from bending over backwards to overshoot those numbers is to sabotage my chances.  I don't want to think that there's any way possible to get even 100%.  Then I'll just do what I can.  And that's enough at this point.

Taking time off right now is a great idea too, since I've been diving head-first into my exercise and diet regimen.  I hit the elliptical yesterday and pumped out 500 calories there.  And, while I didn't exercise today, I did walk all over four different stores with my mom.  I didn't log it, but I'm sure it registered some calories.  I've also been keeping with a steady diet and logging with MyFitnessPal.com.  Great site by-the-by for keeping track of your calories.  I've went through a lot of online food loggers and MFP has, by far, the largest food database.  Just about anything you could possibly eat has been added at one point or another.  And, if not, you can always add it yourself, though I've maybe only had to do that two or three times during my year's worth of logging.

I also have to give my mom credit.  She had a knee replacement surgery in early December 2012.  The doctors told her at that time that she needed to lose weight, particularly for the health of the replacement knee.  My mom went from weighing 320 lbs to 243 (weigh-in today!).  That's 77 pounds and she's still working it off!  Super proud, Mom.  Keep up the good work!

If my mom can lose 77 lbs+ with a gimp knee, I can work this last 20-something off, surely.

Getting back on top of things.

No check-in this week.  Why?  I've been on a much-needed vacation from absolutely everything.  Other than taking commissions for this upcoming week, sorting some paper work and some deep cleaning for the house, I really just stayed in and played games all week.  I got my hair dyed, went to Perkins and generally said screw it to my diet.  Even more so, the in-laws came over to help us clear some brush from the backyard today and I, for the first time ever, did not participate.

I have been one lazy slob.

But now, it's Monday, and that's officially over.  I can't say I feel 100% rested from the monotony that has been the 2013 catch-up year (that'd take at least another week... maybe two?), but I feel better.  Now I need to look towards the rest of the month.  Thanks to my fantastic week off, I have to do four weeks worth of work in about three.  Yikes!  I reorganized my marker calendar, stepped up my schedule planning and set up a calendar on my desktop in Sticky Notes.  I've got my week planned out and, if I can stay on top of everything, I'll be set.

The big thing about last month was that it was the first month I didn't hit my weight loss goal.  In fact, I actually gained a pound. Disappointing!  I weighed myself this morning and nothing has changed despite being off the diet (phew!).  That's at least a firm step in place.  To take steps forward, I need to be proactive.

Yesterday, I tagged some of the friends who used to work out with me on a regular basis to see if they wanted to set up regular exercise times again.  I actually ended up hearing from someone else entirely, Nic, who wanted to set up Wednesday jog days.  Alex also contacted me about Tuesday nights, so I should be heading her direction for Zumba then.

Natalie and I, as far as I know, are still meeting for Monday and Thursday night exercises.  Truth is, we haven't met in a while though.  I cancelled on her last Thursday for a showing and she cancelled last Monday for a hangover.  And, while I can't remember from before that, there has been a lot of cancelling going on.  To make matters even worse, I have a friendship emergency that will have me out of town tomorrow.  I expect to get back in tomorrow evening, so I'm hoping she'll be up for exercising then.

If I can keep all of that going, that's four light to moderate workouts every week.

On top of that, I got our local high school's community education packet.  In May of last year, I took an exercise course through the school district.  I lost 15 pounds and kept it off, but have struggled to lose any more than that since then.  I fully intended to take the course again in the fall, but the moved they location and I didn't want to drive all the way out there.  While they haven't moved it closer for the spring, I'm really tired of trying to do this by myself, so I fully intend to take it again.  I asked the group and Natalie showed interest.  I'm hoping we can get at least two days in for that each week.  That'll change up my schedule a bit for May and June, but it'll be worth it.

Finally, I'm looking into some week-long challenges for April to get me to my goal.  I haven't settled on anything yet, though I probably should since this is week one, but here are some challenges I've been interested in:

7 Day Challenges:
Summer Arms Challenge
Summer Butt Challenge
Summer Abs Challenge
Clean Eating Challenge
Salad Challenge
Inspirational Challenge

I'm not much for sitting around and doing nothing.  The only way to move forward is to get moving.  Hopefully, between the challenges, the new exercise nights and the classes in May, I'll get back on top of my weight loss goals.

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Edit: Take my poll below to help me decide which 7 Day Challenge I should start tomorrow!  I've excluded the clean eating and salad challenges because I've already grocery shopped for this week, but all the other ones are open.  OR, if you have a seven day challenge you want to suggest, choose "Other" and comment on this journal entry with a link!

Which 7 Day Challenge should I begin tomorrow?
	Summer Arms Challenge
	Summer Butt Challenge
	Summer Abs Challenge
	Inspirational Challenge
	Other (Please comment with a link to your suggestion!)
pollcode.com free polls

Why I Haven't Checked In: My Non-Success.

There it is staring me right in the face.  My non-success.  Even though I'm trying to keep my chin up and stay positive, it's pretty hard right now.

Before I dive into my pity-party, which I desperately need, I want to go over some practical reasons why my weight is the way it is.

1. I've been on short-term steroids for about a week.
Here's some facts about steroids: They make you hungry as hell and increase your water retention.  Even more, steroids like the one I'm using have been known to cause and aggravate hypothyroidism.  I'm on the steroids to help with my overwhelming allergy and asthma problems, but I come off of them in three days.  Unfortunately, to make matters worse, the side effects can stick around for up to three weeks after your dose.  So, you know, there's that.

2. We had a friend in from out of town and ate out.  A lot.
Now I can't blame him.  He didn't initiate any of the fast food runs - to be fair, he even attempted to say no to one of them but I can't cook and didn't want to leave him hungry.  What it came down to is, for the better part, it was two against one and I'm the odd person out.  One round even led to some overnight food poisoning and that led me to skip a pill of my levothyroxine.  I'm not taking anything when I'm hovering over a toilet.  So there's also that.

So now that I've gotten that out of the way, I still want my damn pity party.

Last year, when I lost weight, I became trapped in the 160's.  Seeing 167 over and over on the scale when I had followed a diet and exercise routine for three weeks was devastating.  That's why I gave up. I feel like I am forever stuck. And, while I followed the diet routine every day like clockwork then, that certainly doesn't happen now.  I feel like I put a lot of effort into losing weight only to ruin it in a few days every time.

It doesn't help that I have people shoving fatty food in my face everywhere I go.  My mom brought over chocolate covered marshmallows on Saturday and my friend Mike brought over two chocolate bunnies on Easter.  I even had an extended argument with Mike about why we can't do weekly sushi anymore.  My metabolism isn't as fast as everyone else's.  I can't constantly eat these things and stay thin.  Hell, if I even glance in their general direction, my thighs swell.  I wish people would understand that they're sabotaging me and I don't have the self-control to say no.

And work.  Ugh, work.  You know what sucks about being self-employed?  Everything you make is dependent on how hard you work.  Last year, we failed because we didn't have sufficient funds for all the catastrophes.  I don't want that to happen again and that results in me routinely overbooking myself.  Overbooking myself leads to me running dangerously close to deadlines.  When deadlines get tight, I turn to McDonald's or pizza and push myself through.  And it works. I wish it didn't, but it does.  And that definitely happened this round.   I wish fatty foods didn't motivate me like they do.

To make matters worse, the exercise nights I used to have?  Gone.  The girls just got too busy and we never really exercise anymore.  There is one girl that attempts to make it out but she cancels often.  And that just leaves me in a defunct state.  "Well, no one's coming and I don't really have the time anyway, so I'll just skip it."  I need the accountability and I'm really lacking it right now.

I guess I'm just tired of being the only person in my life that cares about the weight I gained from my hypothyroidism.  I'm tired of being the only person trying to change everything.  I want to be positive.  That was the point of this blog - taking something so terrible as 2012 and creating something positive out of the ashes.  But it sucks when you're the only one with the motivation, the only one that cares and the only one struggling to change.

I just feel really alone right now.  And a bit like a failure.

And the worst part?  I have no one to blame but myself.  I need to learn some self-control.  The word no is dangerously lacking from my vocabulary.  I need to stop getting angry that my husband doesn't care about losing weight or that my friends are too busy.  Even if it's just me alone in my basement, I need to work out.  I need some god damn motivation to do this stuff on my own.

And there's my self-pity rant.  That is all.

165!

You know what this means?

Why I Shouldn't Weigh Myself Early

Yeah, yeah, go ahead and mock me.

I weighed myself two days early and the scale said a pound more than what I'm at today.

That's what I get.

This doesn't mean I stop fighting the fight.

It just means that I hit my weight goal for January.

WOO!

Edit: Also, my thyroid lab work only costs $40!  I think I can deal with the lab nurse for that.  Today's becoming a good day!

3/5ths of a Pound

So my curiosity got the best of me and I weighed myself today.

My goal for January is 169 lbs.

I was supposed to be 170 by this Thursday.

I'm just a bit ahead of schedule! Woo!