Life Update Sunday, er, Thursday (v 3.13.14)

It has been forever since I've updated!  At least, outside the realm of health, anyway.  I have a ton of pictures of the pets to share, including a video, and some life updates.

However, before we get to that, I do want to touch on my health for just a moment.  I did get my ultrasound of my gallbladder back and it came out normal.  Sounds like nothing looks enlarged or inflamed, and I don't have any stones.  My blood work also came out normal.  Clear tests are a great relief, but they also feel like a smack in the face - so what the heck is wrong?  My EGD and colonoscopy appointment for the 26th still stands.  I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but on the bright side, I'll be really well cleaned out.

The first week in March was probably the worst part of whatever's going on with me.  I was absolutely exhausted all the time.  Dehydration and blood loss were giving me headaches, nausea and some crazy comas.

During that time, I temporarily resigned from my volunteer jobs.  I'm still on for TARA as an emergency volunteer.  I did sign up for ESFOA's adoption event on the 1st despite feeling poor, but had to cancel when I got a last minute gig.  I got the e-mail for this week's volunteer date, but I'm not going to sign up for it.  I think I need a few weeks off from volunteering so I can recuperate.

Tuesday of last week marked things getting a bit better.  I finally felt good enough to call for an eye exam so I could get contacts.  This would be my first pair of new contacts since my 2013 autoimmune scleritis incident.  Not only were they able to get me in same day, but I was able to get an all-clear from another eye doctor on my scleritis and walk out with new contacts!  I swung back by our complex, picked up Charli and we celebrated with some Headrush coffee.  One health problem conquered.  Just a few more to go!

Artie got his groom on a few weeks ago and he feels so much better!  We booked him to get groomed when the weather warmed up, then we were suddenly hit with a last-minute cold front.  Poor little guy.  Left him cold.  I'm glad he knows how to curl up into blankets on his own.

We also had a freak day where it was 70 in the afternoon, and ended in freezing rain.  Apparently, Apollo had never experienced rain hitting the sliding glass door.  Hilarity ensued. 

I am feeling better today, though it likely comes from sleeping for 24 hours straight.  I only got up for dinner around 6 pm, because bacon, but I quickly went right back to bed afterward.  I officially woke up at 11pm last night and have been on an impressive roll ever since.  I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, walked the dog two miles, and took my LEARN lecture on paganism and Wicca from 10% to 80% complete.

Speaking of which, that's still happening on the 19th.  It's a closed lecture, but I'll let you all know how it goes!

I even found time to sit outside and watch the sun rise this morning.  Of course, not without an audience...

Next week is going to be hectic!  Really, everything starting Saturday is going to be crazy.  Saturday is the Liithi Lushede Coven public Ostara ritual, Sunday's the Pagan Garage Sale at Aquarius, I'm covering for a volunteer on Monday, Coffee Coven Tuesday night, my LEARN lecture on Wednesday morning, then my new Circle's Ostara ritual on Thursday.  There's not a single day next week that I have any down time once you factor in work.

This is his "Take me outside, pleeeaaassseee?" face.

This is "Take me outside, damn you" face.

Tonight is Mystic Treasure's Vision Board class.  I think I may have to pass.  I've been up since 11pm last night, so I highly doubt I'll still be with it at 7pm.  I really wanted to go though.  I guess I'll have to see how I am.

And with that, I think I need to get back to finishing off my LEARN lecture and working on commissions.

Though I think I might make some bacon first.  Mmm, bacon.

Health update.

On my most recent life update, I mentioned I was having some health issues.  I intentionally left them vague at the time, particularly since many of the issues aren't publicly acceptable to discuss anyway.  I saw my doctor on that next Monday, February 24th, and was referred to a GI specialist.  I saw him on the following Monday, March 3rd.  He ordered further testing, including blood work, an ultrasound of my gallbladder and abdomen, and an EGD and colonoscopy.  I had my blood work and ultrasound on Friday and anticipate at least some answers within the next few days.  My EGD and colonoscopy is scheduled for the 26th.

Seeing a GI attests to at least some of my "unspeakable" symptoms, which includes inappropriate blood and color if you get my drift.  I'm also having severe pain in my upper abdomen starting at the center and spanning out equally on both sides, nearly under my rib cage.  It happens every few weeks or so and lasts about 5-8 hours, coming in 1 to 1.5 hour waves and forcing me to throw up.  This is something I've been complaining about since November, but thought it was due to my increased consumption of "bad foods," like gluten and sugar.  However, the episodes didn't subside once I was back on the diet.  In fact, even when I was on the diet and exercising regular, I gained weight.  On top of it all, I've been severely fatigued despite having level thyroid results.  Likely, blood loss and improper digestion is to blame.

My GI doc suggested a plethora of potential diagnoses.  One was gallstones or gallbladder inflammation.  Unfortunately, my symptoms suggest either something larger than that or more than one diagnosis.  He thinks that, in addition to gallstones or gallbladder inflammation, I had a polyp rupture.  However, without the colonoscopy and EGD, he can't be certain.  He is concerned about colon cancer given my symptoms and my family history, but hopes that my age is a helping factor.  Other potential diagnoses include diverticulitis and Crohn's with my autoimmune disorders.  He did suggest I consider immunosuppressants for my MAS, but I've been REALLY trying to avoid those since they can up your chances for getting sick and developing other issues, including cancer.

Honestly, with everything going on, I've pretty much been MIA since mid-February.  I get up, work and go to bed.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  It's been the easiest way to manage my pain and energy levels.  Because I took off a week in February from the flu, I really can't afford to take off any more time or I would do it.

For a couple weeks there, I just gave in to my illness.  I think I mentally needed to for a while.  Even with MAS, I don't typically consider myself a sick person despite fighting my body on a daily basis.  I feel like I complete an impressive amount of tasks given my situation.  But adding these symptoms on top of my daily battles with my chronic condition was too much.

I've been told by a couple of well-intentioned but ultimately misguided people that I'm not fighting hard enough.  That I took the potential diagnoses and the tests too hard.  That I should have just picked myself up and kept going.  Easier said than done.  On any given day, without my new potential issues, I wake up tired, cold, foggy and aching.  I have a headache and my nose is stuffed from allergies, giving me a migraine, and I have to take a few puffs of my inhaler for my asthma.  I have sores all over from psoriasis and I'm bloated.  MAS does all of this to you, and more.  But I get myself up at 6 AM, work out, eat well, run my own business (which involves being the artist, CEO, secretary, sales, billing, marking and customer service department all in one for often around 10 hours a day), volunteer, clean my home, greet my husband, take care of four rescue pets, visit friends, participate in my religion, exercise again in the evening and go to bed.  That's a standard day in my life. given that it's just my autoimmune disorders that are flaring.  I live through the pain and I rarely complain.  For that, I'll give myself one huge pat on the back.

But add crippling pain that leaves me writhing on the floor of the bathroom for a full day, forcing me to miss work and, subsequently, not be paid.  Add significant blood loss on a daily basis.  Add being even more exhausted than usual, to the point that moving my hand to draw might as well be the same as trying to push down my apartment building by myself.  And hearing that damn C word again.  I heard it last year when my immune system attacked my eyes.  I heard it earlier this year in reference to a new mole on my stomach, of which I've still not had time to schedule a derm appointment for in between all of this.  And now I'm hearing it in reference to my stomach.

I think there comes a point where you just have to shut down for a while to recoup.  So yes, for a while, I was Miss Negative Nancy.  I would curl up in bed every chance I got and I stopped going out.

It gave me some time to figure things out.  To settle with the idea that I may be having surgery for the first time ever, and will be sedated at the end of the month for the first time ever.  To build up some missing energy that's being sucked away from me by two, or maybe even three, totally different issues.

It gave me a moment to get my shit together.

So I sat down today and finished commissions, unfortunately two days past schedule thanks to my passing out after my blood work and ultrasound on Friday.  And I scheduled my next week.  I bought food for the diet.  Just because I'm not seeing weight loss doesn't give me permission to eat junk.  It's not going to help my current symptoms anyway.

This is why I've been absent the past few weeks, and why my goals didn't really budge last month.  I don't know how far I'll get this month.  I don't really care.  The fact that I'm going forward at all is impressive, I think.  And even if I just stood still, it's whatever I have to do to get through this.

So there's my health update.

Life Update Sunday (v. 1.26.14)

It's been a very long week full of ups and downs.  Mostly ups, on the bright side, but I'll be glad to have a more normal week next week!

Let's start with the most concerning news and something I spoke about on Thursday (technically early Friday).

This is a new asymmetrical mole that has been coming and going on my stomach since mid-December.  I've been hesitant to tell anyone about it until just recently, and kept it between myself and a few select people last week.  I have seen a doctor about it and they're keeping an eye on it for the next four weeks.  More than likely, I'll never have an official diagnosis and it will be removed with a laser by my dermatologist within the next few months.

Maybe never knowing is for the better.  Skin cancer's pretty easy to treat and anything else isn't going to be detrimental to my health.  My doctor did confirm that she didn't see anything particularly precancerous about it, but that I caught it "extremely early," so it's hard to tell.  I will say that she held my hand as we discussed it and gave me something for my anxiety.  I'm going to be absolutely heartbroken when she retires.  It's worth the struggle with the office staff to see her.

This will be my second cancer scare alongside my autoimmune scleritis which they thought might be MS or a pituitary gland tumor in August through November.  I'm only 25, but it feels like my body's already trying to fall apart on me.

On to better topics.

After the extremely cold temperatures this month and watching Artie struggle to walk on the ground because of them, I resolved to purchase booties for him.  As I previously promised, here's the first time he tried them on:


What I was unable to video, and what I really wish I would have, was his first walk outside with them.  Even though they're obviously some sort of pleather, nothing could have prepared us for the clack sound they make on pavement!  It was all Aaron and I could do to keep it together enough to walk him.  Artie also has a habit of kicking up the ground when he's done going potty.  Despite being snug on his legs, the force of his kicks sent one flying up towards a second story window only to bounce off and hit the ground.  The second one hit Aaron smack in the middle of his face.  I collected them and we walked him back to our apartment door, but poor Artie felt so uncoordinated from having the booties just on his front paws that he fell up the stairs and face-planted into the doorway.

He's completely fine, but I told Aaron that the half-hour Artie wore his booties was well worth the $14 I paid for them.  If he never wears them again, I'm still satisfied.

Artie and Zeus have both had health issues this week.  Artie's bout of stomach issues came back on Wednesday and I vetted him.  He got a shot and some pills to help quell his tummy.  Hopefully that clears things up.

Zeus has also had an interesting issue.  Today we woke up to find he had a loose lower canine.  It must have happened sometime in the morning since he was fine late last night.  I actually originally thought he had a piece of lint or paper attached to his mouth and was terrified to find out it was a loose tooth just barely hanging on!  I pulled it out in whole and he seems to be feeling much better.  We typically reserve wet food for special occasions since their dry is special formula, but I fed him some wet food this morning assuming he hadn't eaten all morning because of his tooth.  And, just now, I watched him eat dry kibble.  He's purring, playing and seems normal.  I'm mostly just concerned about infection, so I'll probably call our vet tomorrow to ask.  He's currently still on his UTI antibiotic, so I wonder if that would cover infection or if I'll need some sort of topical.

I think he lost it due to some sort of trauma since his teeth are very white and his gums look pink and fresh.  He'd just been in to see the vet recently as well and they took a look at his teeth, so I'm strongly doubting periodontal disease.

Can't win for losing with the pets' health problems, can we?

Other than that, the pets have been fine.  Zeus and Apollo are reconnecting, Artie has been happy and Hermes has been his regular Asscat self.

On Thursday, I went over to Sara's to craft with her and her friend Holly.  I brought my THIS IS NOT A BOOK along.

This is not a book.

This is (also) not a book.

THIS IS NOT A BOOK is something I gained by losing weight last year.  My goal this year is to complete it by doing 9 prompts a month.  Here's some of my handy work:

This is a Thought Garden.

This is an ANNOYANCE.

This is a Nature Emulator.

It was a great evening and I stayed entirely way too late considering I had a doctor's appointment in the morning, but it was incredibly fun!

Also, yesterday, Aaron and I did what we originally decided was our "official" date night: a blanket fort!

About five seconds after we got it set up, Apollo knocked it down.  Maybe ten minutes after we got it put back together, I clumsily knocked it down.  That's when we decided we needed to go a little further.

Our solution?

We rigged our blanket fort to last by tying it to every surface imaginable, including tables, the sliding glass door and our fireplace.  This apparently made it sturdy as it still stands today!

Aaron and I went out for Burger King (I know, I know, for shame, but a shake and a chicken sandwich just went so well in the fort!).  We even watched a couple movies before falling asleep.

The pets loved it last night and are continuing to enjoy it today.  I'll hate taking it down because we've all enjoyed it so much, but I have to have my front room back at some point!

... Just probably not today. :D

Aaron has a doctor appointment tomorrow.  I finally convinced him to go for a check up and blood work, which I know is a freaking shocker!  First one in over five years.  Yeesh!

And that just about sums up my week.  Let's hope next week is a little less eventful.

Scleritis Flare Ups

WARNING
Here's that gross picture of my eye again.
If you're squeamish, look away!

Last night, my left eye began hurting again and I started seeing halos around our string lights. For those of you that don't remember, in September through November, I had a bout of Autoimmune Scleritis misdiagnosed as everything from diabetes to potential metastasizing malignant tumor. It was terribly painful and caused me a lot of headaches, missed work and weight gain as my vision changed and I was unable to see.

My doctor mentioned that, because it was triggered by an immune system response, I had a chance of it reoccurring as episcleritis but had sincerely hoped I'd never have to deal with that.  Too bad it's flaring up again.  I really had hoped it was over.  At least this time, I know how to fix it. I popped a couple NSAIDs (Aleve) and this morning, the haloing is significantly reduced. Hopefully the whole thing will be over in seven to ten days.

Unfortunately, it doesn't make me any less stressed out about the whole thing. It could get worse or my vision could change again. I just hope I've caught it early enough.  The pain is actually manageable but the halos?  God those things are terrifying, particularly since they're just in one eye.  Even with both eyes open, I can tell that my left eye is the only one experiencing these symptoms.

Get a scratch on your cornea from dust just once.  Deal with the ramifications for the rest of your life.  Kind of feels like I'm cursed, doesn't it?

Having a recurring bout of this has reminded me of how I felt from September to November of last year.  I consider myself an ISTJ, but I definitely found my extroverted side when I got sick.   For the first time in my life, I felt like I really needed people.  While I did have my husband Aaron, he couldn't stay home with me.  He had to go to work and maintain his obligations.  And me?  I couldn't even see to work, let alone drive or watch the TV.  It was a mess.  I spent most days just lounging around on the couch trying to figure out how to keep myself occupied.  I would have given anything for someone to randomly show up on my doorstep and give me a hug, but I ended up spending much of the three months relatively alone.

I think a lot of people felt like they were connecting with me because they'd leave me a comment on Facebook or send me a text.  That wasn't the kind of connection I was looking for, or even one I could see very well most of the time.  I could have really used an actual shoulder or a good, hearty, in-person laugh.  I needed a distraction and I couldn't find one.

I think this might be a strong root cause for the deactivation of my Facebook account.  By removing myself from Facebook, it now forces those interested to connect with me in a much more meaningful and potentially "real" way. And it honestly does the same thing for me. I'm tired of living behind a photo of myself and some typed words (even if that's exactly what I'm doing right now).  Maybe I'll actually get out and live a little, when I can see anyway.

That short period where I was running through testing for MS or a pituitary gland tumor changed me. Maybe for the worst as I expect more from people now. My frustrations with others' lack of involvement in my life have left me bitter over the past few weeks and it's something I'm simply going to have to get over.  But I have to believe that the experience has also bettered me, as I expect more from myself. And that's the real story there.

Facebook Page Deactivation Q&A

A sudden and needed goal of mine that developed in the last few days of 2013 was the need to rid myself of Facebook.  Instead of slowly working this into my 2014 goals, I'm planning to rip the band aid off as soon as January 7th.  I have posted a notification on my page with means to contact me, but I have noticed a few questions pop up over the past few days.  Here's a compilation of questions and answers about my Facebook Deactivation:

Q. Where can I find you once your Facebook is deactivated?

• E-mail
• artist@mdartist.com
• Website
• www.mdartist.com
• Blogs
• The Progressive Planner (for general life)
• http://theprogressiveplanner.blogspot.com/
• Witchy Words (for religion and spirituality)
• http://witchywords.blogspot.com/
• Social Network
• MyFitnessPal
• http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/mariettadelene/status
• Pinterests
• Witchy Words
• http://www.pinterest.com/witchywords/
• Fit For Fourteen
• http://www.pinterest.com/fitforfourteen/
• Chat Programs
• Trillian
• mdartist
• AIM
• mwilliamsartist
• Google Talk
• marietta.artist@gmail.com
• Skype
• MariettaDelene
• Phone Number
• For select individuals I've talked to on a semi-regular basis, I'd be happy to hand you my cell number.  Please e-mail me if you'd like it.  I have unlimited texts, so I'd love to hear from you!

Q. Will your professional pages Concepts and Caricatures and Witchy Words still stay available?
A. Yes. They will now be managed by my husband.

Q. Why are you choosing to deactive your profile?
A. Facebook has been the center of all things negative in my life.  For one, I spend way too much time connected to Facebook when I could be doing other things.   It's my chief time-waster, a true obsession, and I'll be happy to gain all that free time back!  Secondly, it has been the root of all of my friendship woes and frustrations about my personal life from over-comparison.  Finally, I rely on Facebook as a means of "coworker" socialization since I get none of it as a freelance artist but I find that, while I've made several real connections, it still comes out to only a small percentage of the 3000+ people I've networked with over the years. Those whom I've truly formed lasting connections with will make an effort to show up somewhere else in my life.  These three reasons make absolutely necessary the deactivation of my profile.  I fully believe it will lead to a happier, better, more carefree life.  And since one of my health goals for 2014 involves managing my stress, this seems only logical.  Besides, sometimes it's just good to disconnect.

Q. Are you deleting all of your posts or just deactiving?
A. I'm just deactivating.  While I may over-share on Facebook, there's nothing on there that you couldn't find here.  Or really anywhere else I am on the internet.  That doesn't mean that I haven't privatized everything and am removing photos in the process.  If you recently discovered that you've been put on restricted viewing since Sunday, December 29th, know that I have slowly been moving all of my friends to restricted viewing as I begin the deactivation process.  This is not a personal target; it just makes the work a little easier for me.

Q. Because you're simply deactivating, would you ever consider reactivating your page in the future?
A. After a full twelve months of removing myself from that network, if I feel the need to reactivate it, I will do so on an extremely limited basis.  There would be no status updates, no photo updates and only the very, very few profile picture changes or life event notifications.  However, I don't see Facebook to be all that important in the long run.  All of those are things you could easily get right here.  In the foreseeable future, I absolutely do not plan to return.

Q. Couldn't you just practice moderation?
A. I could attempt to, but I know myself too well.  If I have a slice of cake, I want the whole cake.  I could install programs to limit my time on Facebook, but inevitably I would remove them.  I am keeping my professional pages, which means I will still have a Facebook presence.  Just a significantly smaller one.

Q. Are you really deactivating? (Also: Aren't you just deactivating for attention?)
A. No.  Actually quite the opposite.  The few days prior to making this decision have been full of far too much attention.  I'm really quite relieved that it will be over shortly.  That being said, I don't want to miss out on the people I really love talking to.  That's why I'm waiting until January 7th to fully deactivate.

Q. I love seeing pictures of your pets.  Where will I be able to find them once you're not on Facebook anymore?
A. I got this one quite a bit! I was surprised that so many people were interested in those crazy, obsessive pictures I post.  My answer? Here and at my Witchy Words blog.  It may be more of a weekly or twice-weekly occurrence rather than an every day thing, but I promise that you won't miss out on the very best moments of my fuzzy babies.  If it becomes too distracting from the subject matter, I may create a separate blog dedicated just to them.  They are pretty amazing, after all.

Q. What about the Circle of Open Traditions group on Facebook?
A. As part of my desire to manage my stress this year, I'm resigning as Circle Coordinator and passing the reigns to Alex and Stacey.  Because most members of the circle live in the same apartment complex, it makes far more sense for someone from that group to coordinate events anyway.

Q. What about the Fit for Fourteen group on Facebook?
A. I know I just started that and many were eager to join in.  I have officially moved that group over to MyFitnessPal.  You can view and join that group by clicking here.

Q. Are you keeping your individual pet pages?
A. Those pages were created in order to sort pictures of my fuzzy babies since I post a ridiculous amount.  It made it to where, if I wanted to find a specific picture of, say, Zeus, all I had to do was go to his profile and search the photos he was tagged in.  It made my life easier at times.  However, that was truly their only purpose. While they will not be deactivated, I will not be logging on to update them.

If you have any more questions, please let me know here!  I will be posting this and my status about deactivating my Facebook daily until January 7th, which I hope will give everyone interested plenty of time to connect with me in other ways.  I hope to see you around!

2014 Health Goals: Lets Do it Again!

This is maybe one of my most disappointing sections.  I made it so far last year only to bounce back horribly after a terrible autoimmune inflammation that left me laid up and unable to do anything for almost three months.  However, I have to remind myself that what's done is done.  It's in the past.  In order to lose the weight, I'm going to have to move past my failure.

With that being said, let's dive into my 2014 health goals!

Last year, I desperately wanted to relive my running days, but I no longer have a deep seeded need to make that marathon.  If I do, I do.  Fantastic!  More important to me, however, is losing the weight and keeping it off.  So my health goals this year will focus on that.

In 2013, I wanted to lose 30 lbs.  Though I have yet to weigh myself, I can guarantee that I'm back to where I was at the beginning of last year.  I think one of the problems I had was that three pounds a month was so incredibly doable that it took no effort.  Often, I ate on the diet 5/7 days of the week and lost the weight effortlessly.  Sounds like a dream, doesn't it?  Unfortunately, it made it all too easy to gain it back.  "Oh, I've done it before.  I can do it again.  It wasn't like it was hard."  This year, instead of losing three pounds, I'd like to up that to five.  In order to his this goal, I will have to exercise and diet properly for six out of seven days of the week.  Maybe I'll appreciate myself more if it takes more effort.  Five pounds is still more than doable.

At five pounds a month, that will still leave me with two Lose 15 Pounds goals.  I'm good with that.

That will also have me end sometime around late June, giving me six months of maintenance.  However, I know I'm liable to falter here and there.  With that in mind, my third goal should be to Maintain my Weight for Three Months.  Should I successfully complete my weight loss journey by June, this doesn't mean that I should maintain my weight until October then go crazy with holiday foods.  It means that, if I falter and manage to hit my goal weight by September or October, I can still hit my maintenance goal with relative ease.

By weight maintenance, I'd like to place the stipulation of +/- 3 lbs.  That means water weight or a little extra goodies one week won't deter me from still hitting that goal.  My end weight for December 31st should be between 137 and 143 pounds.

Losing weight requires changing the lifestyle I've been on since I started gaining weight in late August.  As with last year, I want to create small, positive goals to lose those five pounds a month as well as begin my maintenance period.  Here's the chart I came up with:

I am aware of the typo in the first row.  It should be 8 glasses of water, not 8 ounces of water.

This chart may be edited once every three months to reflect my weight loss progress and get me remotivated, particularly if I come up with new ways to lose weight.

As with last year, I also want to revamp my wardrobe once the weight is lost.  I've decided to tack on an additional $50 to my wardrobe money to make it seem more appealing.  I'm also going to give pretty sizable boosts for getting under 140 lbs.  Here's the basic chart that will get me that $150 new wardrobe money to blow at a thrift store!

In addition to the final reward of a new wardrobe, I need small rewards along the way to make the weight loss worthwhile.  Once I hit maintenance, I may start rewarding myself for managing my weight if it's necessary.  I'm hoping eventually to do it of my own free will.

(Also, can I just say that I really want to get all of my friends together for the new wardrobe purchase, take multiple videos of thrift store shopping and make a kick-ass video to Thrift Shop by Macklemore.)

Last year, I managed to get my TSH levels for my hypothyroidism more under control, with my most recent test at a little over 7 (your TSH levels should fall somewhere between .3 and 3).  This year, I'd like to hit optimum TSH levels and get my thyroid thing officially behind me.  In order to do that, I feel like Seeing an Endocrinologist is of the utmost importance.  S/he may be able to help me with other hormone and vitamin deficiencies I have, thus getting me closer to better health.  As of right now, my prescription for Levothyroxine runs out late January.  Because winter months in KC are a, for a lack of a better word, bitch to drive in and the endocrinologist I'd like to see is about an hour away, I'm more than willing to go back to my primary for my January test.  That will give me three more months of pills.  This puts seeing an Endocrinologist on my to-do list in March or April.

My final health goal is to begin Managing my Stress.  I have Multiple Autoimmune Syndrome.  Many of my symptoms flare up during times of intense stress (my Scleritis while we were moving, my psoriasis flaring at every single stress point in. My. Life. Ever., etc).  If I want to help my immune issues, I absolutely have to get my stress under control.  My goal is to try one new stress management technique a month.  After asking Facebook and doing some research, here's a monthly table I've created to help me achieve this goal:

So let's take a look at my 2014 health goals on the primary chart:

As with Financial goals, there are no habit goals to add to my monthly goal list template.  That makes throwing together that template pretty easy.  Here it is!

HEALTH - 0% Complete

See an endocrinologist (March/April). – Done | Not Done – 0% complete.

Lose 5 pounds. – 0/5 pounds – 0% complete.

Try one stress management technique for the month – 0/x Days – 0% complete.

Some notes:  None.

Almost half way there!

Next time on The Progressive Planner:

My 2014 Home Goals.

Question for my readers:

What are your 2014 health goals?

Looking Forward

My husband has been in Michigan all week for training.  In just two short days, he'll be back home, even if "home" is currently the most temporary thing in our lives.  When I asked him how he likes his job so far, he told me he actually really loves it.  Music to my ears, particularly during this chaotic week.

I'm currently sitting here sweating at my desk.  The AC in the rental house is out again for the third time.  I can't wait to live in a place where I can just call a maintenance guy.  And, honestly, even if maintenance isn't fantastic, I can figure an apartment AC out a lot better than the archaic thing we have in the downstairs boiler room.  I honestly wonder if that thing is even powerful enough to cool the house we live in.  Wait, no, I know it isn't because my roommates live on the top floor and it's always sweltering up there.  I think it breaks down so much because it gets overworked.  Despite that, it's significantly cooler tonight.  Not looking forward to packing the kitchen tomorrow in the heat, but I'll cope.

I'm also coping with packing and working at the same time while Aaron's away.  It's tough.  I feel like I need a spare me to get everything done - particularly my commissions, which no doubt are suffering from goingtobelateosis.  I don't like being late on anything.  It makes me feel unprofessional.  Of course, I always give notice and my commissioners have always been so understanding.  Couldn't ask for a better job.

So while I'm in the middle of a bit of chaos, albeit optimistic chaos, I'd like to take a moment to look forward to the future.  Since Aaron's job seems to be working out well, we have some things on a list that we're in desperate need of replacing.  One of them is a part of one of my major goals this year - we need a new mattress, box spring and set of pillows.  Aaron and I have spent the last few years duct taping springs back into his decade old, or maybe even older, mattress.  A couple months ago, I got jabbed to the point of blood.  Never mind that some of the pillows I have came from my grandmother who passed away when I was 12.  You can feel the cotton in them clumped.  I spend many a night sleeping on our futon or my roommate's couch than I do my own bed because it's not comfortable, nor does it feel sanitary given its age.  However, because our previous finances, a mattress just never seemed possible.

Not getting a new mattress was one of the many financial "sacrifices" Aaron and I made every year.  We'd take a look at our budget every year, try to work it in, and then something would explode and we'd scrap the idea.  Not this year.  Instead of moving our old, worn out and broken mattress to the new apartment, we're trashing it and getting a new mattress the first week.  I'm super excited to sleep on a fresh, clean, comfortable mattress!

In addition, my digital camera failed me last December.  This was something I'd had on our list of things to buy this year but scrapped it to pay for car repairs for Aaron.  I'd like to get something decent but still point-and-shoot.  Something that would work great for photographing sabbat celebrations for Witchy Words.

After getting the new mattress and camera, we'll probably batten down the hatches and hold out for late November.  During that time, we'll be able to save up more than I've ever thought possible - in fact, I anticipate having our target savings for the year completed by the time Aaron rounds out his 90 days.  In addition, I really want to make sure this job is a good fit and that his company views Aaron as an asset.  We'll know that by the end of November.  And what better way to celebrate it than participating in our first Black Friday ever!

A few years ago, I invested in a cheap laptop.  The lemon of a thing maybe lasted me 6 months before I was mailing it off for repairs.  When I got it back, it was in even worse shape.  I've taken with me on long trips and dealt with its issues, but it's to the point now where it's not even feasible for me to work on it.  As it is right now, it works to watch workout videos but pretty much nothing else, and that's when you can get the stupid thing to turn on. I desperately need a new laptop.  Being able to work away from home or, hell, even in a different room of the apartment, would be fantastic.  It's something I'm regretting I don't have right now while I sit here in the heat.  I could be downstairs if that damn thing worked.  So there's something I'd like to invest in this year.  This will be my Christmas gift to myself.

Something's wrong with our TV's RCA connection.  Has been for about two years.  We haven't been able to hook up anything that requires it, like a DVD player or some of our game systems, because you don't get sound when you do.  It'd been a problem we've dealt with by simply avoiding it.  This year, I'd like to get a simple, cheap flat screen that actually has working hook-ups!  That will be my Christmas gift to Aaron.

The final thing I'm wanting this year is something I wanted ever since Aaron picked up our first cat, Nyx: a cat tree.  A nice one.  Something tall that Hermes can climb up and hide near the ceiling.  Something that has a stern base so Zeus can take his claws to it.  Something that I can hang toys off of, or drench in catnip.  Artie, my dog, has all the toys in the world and more sweaters than I can even count.  It's time I do something for the cats more than bell balls, feather toys and the occasional catnip dump in the entry way.  That will be my Christmas gift to my fuzzy babies.

And of course there's a few small things sprinkled into all of that.  The pets have their yearly vetting coming up this September/October.  I'd like to find out what I can do for Zeus's asthma and get Hermes a blood test - he hasn't had one since we first got him.  I'd like to go to the Six-Week Slim Down course for the fall session.  I didn't last year and my weight suffered.  I'd also like to invest in some wall shelves for my spiritual room at the apartment.

So quickly and for future reference, here's some items I'd like to have purchased before the year is over:

• Mattress Done!
• Box spring Done!
• Four pillows Done!
• A new sheet and comforter set Done!
• A digital camera
• Laptop Done!
• TV
• Cat tree

The last month of the year will be light.  All the Christmas gifts will be bought and we'll be back to saving again.  Heck, even buying everything I want to buy, we'll still have some spare to save.  At the beginning of the year, I'd like to reassess our finances and our savings.  If we have spare money, I want to throw it at the higher interest student loans Aaron has.

Previously, I made a list of things I want to do next year.  Some ideal goals to achieve for 2014.  I'd like to bring that back and add some things to the list.

Become an active participant in the KC Pagan Community (spiritual).

Attempt to attend all sabbat rituals led by Lushede Grove.

Attend at least four Coffee Covens.

Attend at least two Mystic Treasures classes.

Get my own health insurance, either through Aaron or myself. (health/financial).

Begin looking into investing money and retirement options as a freelancing illustrator (financial/career).

Buy a dining room table (home/financial).

Begin thrift shopping again and update Thrifty Difty (personal).

Make an effort for a weekly post.

Begin a balcony/indoor garden growing the following (health/spiritual).

Herbs: Basil, bay, mint, sage.

Vegetables: Cucumber, carrots, leaf lettuce, tomato, spinach.

Fruit: Blueberries, lemon tree.

Other: Aloe, garlic.

Buy our first tent so we can camp more often (relationship/financial).

Swap all of our storage items and memory boxes from cardboard to tupperware and reorganize (home).

Be able to speak basic Spanish again by taking two courses at the local community college (knowledge).

Spring: Elementary Spanish 1

Fall: Elementary Spanish 2, Latin American Humanities.

Continue in 2015 by taking Intermediate Spanish 1 & 2, and interpreting courses.

Learn how to swim (health).

Attend one convention related to my career (career).

Get a set of armchairs (home/financial).

Maintain savings and add an additional 20% (financial).

Complete a Wreck This Journal (personal).

Pay off 1/3rd of Aaron's student loans, starting with the highest interest (financial).

Crapstorm 2013

2012 knocked on my door about two weeks ago.  Nearly every catastrophe that happened last year is happening again.  Losing place to live?  Check.  Huge four-digit car repair bill? Check.  Bad, costly health news?  Check.

Where to begin.

I've always been aware that our living situation was temporary.  I've never been more grateful for what we've got.  Unfortunately, the ride is over.  About two weeks ago, we got word that we would need to be out by the end of August.  Aaron and I have been trying to scrape together every penny to make a successful down payment on a decent place, and we would have had it too if his car hadn't bitten the big one.

Only a day after getting that news, we got stranded in the airport terminal trying to pick up a friend because his car randomly wouldn't start.  A tow truck, a lost terminal card and $1400 later and it's fixed.  There was obviously a lot more than just the starter wrong - some of it we knew about and just had fixed anyway.  Nonetheless, there goes the down payment on a place to live.

Not that that matters much.  The top place on our list decided they no longer take huskies, after telling me on a phone call and  in person the first time I saw the place that they did.  Turns out, next-to-nill townhouses with adequate space in the KC area take huskies.  That's a huge problem since my best friend owns one.  We've started looking at renting houses, but the monthly rent is just too high.  Townhouses here tend to stay just under 1k, but houses almost immediately jump to $1200.  Seems freaking impossible.

On top of the costs, my yearly auto insurance bill came in, so that's another four-digit chunk out of my account.  And I finally went to see a dentist.  That's getting pretty costly too, since apparently I neglected the hell out of my teeth and our dental insurance doesn't cover as much as I wish it did.  Every visit is around $150 for what I need.  Ouch.  That and I do actually have my wisdom teeth.  They're completely impacted.  Insurance only pays 50% of that costly surgery.  That's completely and totally out.  Not happening.  Can't afford it.

A few nights ago, a spring in our mattress poked through.  This isn't the first time it's happened.  We've already flipped our mattress for an impossible spring pop and it's full of duct tape patches.  Aaron patched it last night, but this morning, it ripped through my PJ pants and stabbed my leg.  It wasn't bad enough for an ER, but there was quite a bit of blood involved.  That also means we need to officially buy a new mattress.

With what money?

So I started applying for a second job pretty much anywhere a week or so ago.  I don't know what else to do.  I had a pretty successful few interviews the past week, but of course none of them are anywhere near my field.  Everything in my instincts tells me to just buck it up.  That 80 hour work weeks won't be that tough and that it's really the only option at this point.

But is it really worth it to lose everything?  Right when I was beginning to love my life and get involved with things that make me happy, I suddenly have to cut it all off.  The volunteering, the Circle, the exercise.  When will I have time for it?

If I get a call back for any of these jobs, I have a big decision to make: to turn it down and continue with the goals I've set for myself this year, or to take the job and risk losing everything due to stress and lack of time.

This also includes being unable to complete my needed dental work since they're only open Monday-Thursday 10-5 and I'll have to work then.  It means not going to see an endo because I won't be able to take a few hours off.  It means sacrificing not only my spiritual and emotional happiness but my health as well.  How worth it is that?

At the same time, all Aaron and I have ever done is splashed around in the water, bobbing up just enough to catch a breath before being raked under again.  It'd be nice to get on a raft during this flood.  A second job could provide that.  But at what cost?

I will do a check-in as soon as I can figure out how to manage this explosion.

Some updates and looking ahead!

Let's start with the first major success: I weighed myself this morning and am 3.6 pounds down!  Look at that beautiful number.  I'm nearing the weight I was when I got my driver's license at 17.  Exciting!

Also, here's the completed linen closet in all its glory.  Sorry for the fuzzy picture - my camera on my phone's been acting up.  But you at least get the gist - much more organized!  Ignore some of the lopsidedness of some of the upper shelves.  I'm short and didn't have a chair or footstool to use.

Which reminds me that I still need to purchase my digital camera for being 160 lbs.  And my Wreck This Journal box set.  Because I took June off, I've been trying to build some funds before I make any major purchases.

I have volunteer orientation with the Crossroads Hospice this upcoming Saturday.  The Crossroads Hospice is bringing Artie around to visit residents.  I'm very excited, if not a little nervous, about it.  Artie is fantastic with other people - that's why I signed him up for the opportunity.  He absolutely loves older people and just generally wants to make everyone feel better. That being said, they also want to see his temperament with other dogs.  This is where it gets a little tricky.  Artie is, nine times out of ten, fantastic with other animals. He's friendly, playful, happy and spunky.  But then there's just that one dog that, for whatever reason, he doesn't like.  He's never, ever bit another dog and, because he's small, it's easy to intervene by just picking him up.  Treats particularly help him stay focused.  I just would really hate for his temperament with one dog to ruin his chances at volunteering with people.  I suppose I wasn't aware there'd be so many other animals at the Gladstone location.  If there's just a few, he'll be just fine, but if there's a large group, he might get overwhelmed.  What I signed him up for was the people portion, which Artie will love and be a great help in!  It's just a matter of if he can make it past orientation.  On the bright side, if he does pass, it's once a month, which shouldn't interfere with my other volunteering.

I also have volunteer orientation with the KC Pet Project this upcoming Monday.  It's more of what I've been doing with ESFOA and TARA.  I also begin my Cat Caregiver position with TARA tomorrow.  Excited about that as well.

Looking at how fast I'm speeding through some of my goals got me thinking about 2014 today.  Even it were December right now, I'd feel so much more accomplished this year than I have previously, so I'm definitely going to continue The Progressive Planner.  But what is it that I want to do with 2014?  Here's some ideas that have at least made a pit stop in my jumbled head:

1. Be able to speak basic Spanish again (knowledge).
2. Buy our first tent so we can camp more often (relationship/financial).
3. Learn how to swim (health).
4. Attend one convention related to my career (career).
5. Maintain savings and add an additional 20% (financial).
6. Begin looking into investing money and retirement options as a freelancing illustrator (financial/career).
7. Get my own health insurance (health/financial).
8. Complete a Wreck This Journal (personal).

So what about you?  How are you doing on your goals now that we're more than half-way through the year?  Have you given any thought to 2014?

June - The Month I Almost Didn't.

I could say something fancy about June being the halfway point, the steep slope at the top of the mountain that I want 2013 to be, but that's really not what caused me to fall behind this month.  And, regardless of what the number at the top of my check-in below says, I really did fall behind.

I think there's an inevitable adjustment period for any major life change.  Even if it's a smooth transition, underlying stress can really bite at you.  That's what I've been experiencing for June.

My biggest problem was work.  I never intended to take June off.  May was my resting month.  June just kind of got tagged on to it.  My biggest problem?  I still feel like Charli and Eric are visiting.  I can't tell you how many times I skipped work to watch a movie or talk to my best friend in the dining room.  Sometimes, just sitting bored here at the desk will get me working, but I'm not even around my computer much anymore.  And it's not for lack of Charli telling me to work.  I just feel like it's rude to hide back here and not talk to anyone.  And that's my problem.

I also didn't get much cleaning done.  Heck, I fell behind on my chores.  Given that I previously did all of the chores on the chart, only having to do a few should free up my time.  Instead, I can't even attack them.  Also my problem.  

In the process, my desk, which was going fairly unused, is also getting cluttered with my things.  It's an easy place to put everything.  We also moved my desk to make room for Eric's desk.  In the process, everything that was on my desk is on the floor.  Still is.  I finally started attacking it today, but it's still a giant mess.

That being said, I have had some successes this month.

The first success is that I not only lost 5 pounds, but went on to lose and additional 1.2.  Look at that bad ass number up there.  Not only am I way overdue for my digital camera, but I'm damn close to my Wreck This Journal box set!  I've also jarred $20 for my thrift store shopping spree.  Super stoked.  

I've volunteered like crazy with ESFOA.  Managing the booth on my own for a little over four hours, I felt like I definitely got the swing of things much better and know more about the organization I volunteer with. I would like to get even more involved and approached Marilyn about it a bit at the event.  I feel like I'm not doing enough.

I suppose I should add this to my volunteer area.  I've been leading the Circle of Open Traditions since September of last year.  We are an open-faith pagan circle who celebrate the Wheel of the Year in a generalized but special way.  There's currently eight of us sans not-of-faith significant others who often join us for celebrations.  This month, we celebrated the Summer Solstice by camping out in my back yard.  You can read more about that here.

In addition to maxing out in the volunteer and weight loss sections, I spent a lot of time with my husband.  His help volunteering this past weekend was amazing.  We ended up eating out that day and I still managed to stay in check with a salad from Ventana.  Not too bad!

So that's about it for June, the month I almost didn't.  I'm going to go ahead and take this moment to bust out my July check-list.