January: Week 4 Check-In

JANUARY 2013 GOALS

Month is currently 90% over.

CAREER - 88% Complete

Hit target number of monthly illustrations. - 86% complete
Number illustrations completed - 67% complete.

Make target income for the month. - 130% complete.

Draw one illustration for myself. - 100% complete.
Some notes: So according to this, it appears that I'm behind on commissions.  That's not true.  Everything will be completed 100% by the end of the month.  The total complete for this section reflects the true nature of where I'm at, honestly.

FINANCIAL - 95% Complete

Make target income for the month. - 130% complete.

Keep budget. - 90% complete.
Some notes: Things are going well.  My husband and I intend to sit down on Thursday and discuss our budget.  I'll have a better idea of where we're at in our savings plans then.

HEALTH - 95% Complete

Begin taking thyroid meds - continue for entire month. - 90% complete.

Lose 3 pounds by eating a salad every day and avoiding take-out. - 100% complete.
Some notes: I weighed myself on Saturday and was 168.4.  So I'm staying fairly stable.  I shouldn't be weighing myself that often, but I also typically don't weigh myself until Thursdays.  Wanted to be able to check in accurately.

HOME - 100% Complete

Organize my computer. - 100% complete.

KNOWLEDGE - 80% Complete

Begin taking thyroid meds - continue for entire month. - 90% complete.

Begin taking supplements - continue for entire month. - 90% complete.

Begin daily mental exercises. - 75% complete.

Read one book. - 65% complete.
Some notes: I've doubled up on my mental exercises every day this week.  I've also gotten quite a ways into my book.  I expect both to be completed by the end of the month.

PERSONAL - 86% Complete

Begin taking thyroid meds - continue for entire month. - 90% complete.

Begin meditating. - 50% complete.

Draw one illustration for myself. - 100% complete.

Lose 3 pounds by eating a salad every day and avoiding take-out. - 100% complete.

Adhere to my planner schedule. - 90% complete.
Some notes: Since most of these come from other sections aside from my schedule, look at those sections' notes.

RELATIONSHIP - 100% Complete

Do one date night: Watch movies in. - 100% complete.
Some notes: I believe we're having the second date night on Tuesday.

SPIRITUAL - 50% Complete

Begin meditating. - 50% complete.
Some notes: I'm getting much better at this, but still not where I'd like to be.  I've planned more meditation for this week, so it depends on how many of those sessions I can make.

Check List for February

1. Decide on a theme for my personal illustrations.
2. Sketch out thumbnails for my personal illustrations.
3. Sit down with my husband and our bank accounts to analyze our budget Thursday.
4. Divide February's home organization goal of the office into four smaller chores for each week.
5. Get two clear water bottles so I can mark the hours of the day on them to ensure 8 glasses of water a day in February.
6. Get a jar to put money in for each pound lost.
7. Get some loose ones to put in the jar for each pound lost.
8. Select a new book to read.
9. Plan out February date night.

How are you doing on your January goals?

Burn Out

The next time I say, "I'd rather make more money than take a week off this month," just punch me in the face.  Maybe this will be a lesson to me in the future.

I'm burnt out.  I'm behind on work this week because picking up the tablet pen is sometimes flat out painful.  It's like pulling teeth to lay down a few lines.  Honestly, sometimes, I simply don't want to draw.  And that's a problem when it's my job.

I think that's the hardest part about freelancing - you're always "on."  Granted, I know a lot of jobs that are high stress and I'm certainly not saying freelancers have it the worst, but we're pretty high up there.  There's no downtime when we work.  No messing around on the internet, playing games or watching a show.  My husband has Steam and every time I see him play a game while he's at work, I get severely jealous.  Why?  I don't get paid to game.

I get paid for my hard work.  Which means that if I'm not drawing or answering a correspondence e-mail, I'm honestly not getting paid.  Even then, I get paid what I ask.  Sometimes, I misjudge projects.  Sometimes, I just want something to look really good.  Sometimes, I invest extra hours for free.  I know, I know, for shame, but it's part of what I consider being a good illustrator for my clients.

Then there's that whole hypocoma thing I blogged about a few days ago.  Sleep really is my worst enemy.  Sometimes I finally find the will to work only to be thwarted by my eyes dragging.  I don't get much of a choice in the matter.  Once my body's tired, I'm done.  Doesn't matter if I actually go to bed; my husband's found me sleeping on my keyboard on more than one occasion.

That's what happened tonight.  I spent the day taking commissions, so most of my work was correspondence.  I cleaned the house a bit.  Then there was exercise night.  Once the girls left, I went to my parents' to get dinner.  After eating that, I finally sat down to draw and... oh god was I tired.  Food coma, most likely.  Aaron went to bed and I went to cuddle, then woke up this morning at 4 am with this terrible thought:

I have to get all of my commissions for this week done today.

I need some time off.  A week to catch my breath would be great.  Unfortunately, my vacation time doesn't accrue like most people's does.  Mine is defined by how much income I've made over my target monthly goal and if that covers a typical week's work of work.  At this point, I've got a week of vacation covered but that's the thing: it's just a week.  Things tend to go wrong at the worst possible time; I'd hate to take a week off now only to need it later and not have the availability.  Or, there's the possibility I may need to cash it out for something that blows up financially.

My check for Monday's gig will cover half a week and will come in mid-February.  If I can muster up the will to bust my rear, I might find myself with enough pay to cover two weeks by the end of February.  It'd then be much more plausible to take a week off.  In that case, new goal:

Take February 24th - March 3rd off without causing any set-backs to my goals.

Meditation

One of my most important goals spiritually is to start meditating again.  It's been something I haven't done for some time and my stress level shows it.  I meditated a few times through January, but that certainly wasn't what I had in mind.  I often noted in check ups how much I neglected this portion of my goals and I eventually started scheduling it in this week.

And what a difference it's making!

I'm fresh out of a meditation session and I feel pretty darn good.  What does true meditation feel like?  Well it's certainly not just sitting in the middle of a room, doing nothing with your legs crossed.  Honestly, as my sense of being fades, my hearing fades and I begin feeling as though I'm rocking.  It's almost as if I'm on water.  When away, it's like a dream - something vague yet very real.  And when I return, there's a pleasant numbness and warmth that fills me.

For those of you who don't believe in meditation, you're simply not doing it right.  There's nothing supernatural about meditation.  We don't truly leave our bodies and float off to another plan - we instead recess to the part of our minds that's filled with light and hope, bathe in it for a short time, and return to the real world.  It's liberating.  I dare you to try it.

Personally, because it's been a lengthy time since I've touched meditation, I've been following guided beginner meditations on Youtube.  I have the advantage of knowing when I'm truly meditating and when I'm just not thinking about anything.  It's made some of the meditations frustrating for me because I want them to catch up, which means I should probably step it up a little.  On my most recent one, I ended up ahead of the meditation but somehow still following it, which I actually thought was a little neat.  That being said, I want to make it through a few weeks of beginner level before I move on.  Having a solid foundation is the most essential key to doing anything.

If I can keep up the progress this week, I'll have no problems labeling meditation as 50% by my 4th week check in, and 100% by the end of the month.  That's a steady jump from 15%.

Do you meditate?  What does it feel like to you?